Nights out in York and the girls you’ll meet in the toilets

You know exactly who, what, where. From lonely drunks to the gals who attend On & On as a perfect excuse for a night of excessive glitter. Here is the list of girls you'll encounter in the toilets on a night out in York.

The "I am going out and all out" hun

This girl has dedicated so much of her time to essays and existence in the JB Morrell this week she does NOT care that you are in your Stan Smith's and a 'nice' top because she is going for it tonight. Why the f not she tells the gals on the group chat. We wonder why Revs' toilets are heaving and it's because she's taking mirror selfies. It seems she's forgotten the 'squeeze the squad in the cubicle' rule on a night out, as they take their time one by one. The worry to damage her 2 hour glam prep is real.

Sunday Revs and time for heels

The crier

Every night out, you are guaranteed to spot a girl crying in the toilets. If she's not lost her phone, there's boy problems and if it's neither of those, someone probably spilt her triple vodka in Lowther. We can all relate to this hearbreak. A sympathetic smile for you babes.

Salvos' sporty spice

Every Wednesday, she's there. Fancy dress, tick. VKs, of course. Salvos is actually on her official uni timetable and attendance mandatory. You'll see her in the crowd because, honestly, who stands and chats in the toilets here?! No time.

The bathroom Beyonce

All toilet trips are the sole purpose of empowering her fellow independent women. It’s in the queue, whilst washing your hands or when she catches your eye in the mirror. “Babes, your outfit is amazing” and “honestly, eyebrows… make-up it’s all beaut” she compliments, at the end of a “sorry, I just need to say…”. Rarely found queuing with the squad, her friends just know that she’ll be fiiiiiine and soon chatting about boy dramas and flexitarian diets with strangers. At the end of the day, it’s that rugby lad’s loss and yes, it’s totally okay to treat yourself to chicken nuggets after a night out but still class yourself veggie. She’s here to remind us who runs the world, girls.

pics with the new besties and insta followers

Girls who Drop.

With Grime appreciation going beyond remixes of Skepta's 'That's not me', and a cringy crowd that 'aaaaaaaays' to the opening of J Hus to ask "did you see what I done, came in a-". Yes, we know. These girls in headbands, white-striped joggers and Air Force 1's just know that fashion equals looking fit in comfort. Bump into them in the toilets and they're saying hello to everyone queing in front of and behind you on their way out. Drop. is like the house party they didn't need an invite to, they'll probs just meet people there. After all, they know pretty much everyone.

On road from a 90s PE class to 67 at Fibbers

T h o s e ones

Shout out to the girls who fake it. We know you do. You're not going to throw up or just 'check yourself' in the mirror as you tell us. It's not cool. So please stop queue jumping.

The loveable mess

They aren't any form of annoying drunk. You find them doing something crazy in the toilets like dancing on the sinks or climbing cubicles. You laugh and kind of wish you were also at such a blind happiness. She decides everyone there is her friend and wooooo more shots!!!!

Spoons' hasn't seen moves this great since

Blackbox gal

These girls haven’t bought their tickets for just another night out. Neither have they just gone because the other people in their block are going. It's about House. They wait for these events, eye-rolling at the thought of sweaty Salvos and repetitive chart music. You won't find any 'Beyonce's' here. The gals going to the toilet at Blackbox, are going to the toilet. Nobody's out to make new besties. It's in, tie your hair up and out.

this guy can't handle

The lonely drunk

You see her falling under the hand dryer over and over in attempts to prop herself up. Her hair is everywhere and her social awareness non-existent. Asked if she's alright by many, she mumbles something inaudible in response; relatively translatable as "yeaaaaaap, my friend is coming back". It's about an hour later and she's not been collected.

Soul Candy and On & On queens

Because if you love excess glitter and sequins, you attend both. She knows it isn't a sunny night (thanks for being the third person to say that in the last 20 minutes), but I'm sorry how can you declare 80's and beach themes and not expect rose-tinted glasses. These girls deffo posed in their flat kitchens with the Huji app at pres, such a vibe for the gram.

pure happiness xo

We celebrate you fabulous individuals because our nights out in York would simply be unrecognisable and boring without you. Even the irritating queue jumpers. Actually that's still a no.