We’re going to help you get pissed for free

Who doesn’t like champagne, three course dinners and unlimited cocktails?

9 years ago

Some of the world’s best earning potential is supposed to be lurking inside Oxford’s clubs and pubs. Pretty much every investment bank, law firm and recruitment agency are desperate to get their hands on you. While this is good for your graduate prospects, it’s even better for giving you three (or more) years of being plied with free alcohol and food in an attempt to woo you into an employer’s clutches.

Furthermore, pseudo-academic societies are often rolling in money from generous donors, and their committees generally choose to spend this on drawing you into their events with free stuff.

It’s praline you bitch

If you know where to look, Oxford’s short eight-week terms are jam packed with “networking” events. Here’s a guide on how to find them.

Oxford Women in Business

In that very title, there are three buzzwords. “Oxford” so they’re clever, “Women” so they’ll look good for a gender-equal image and “Business” so they’re interested in the real world as well as academia. As a result, despite their main efforts going in to holding fantastic free cocktail evenings once a term, OXWIB has gold sponsorship from Morgan Stanley, Deutsche Bank and Barclays, as well as a host of other sponsors. What this means is that if you follow them on Facebook you and your gal pals (boys surprisingly also welcome) can receive two free cocktails this Thursday without having to do any hustling at all.

Dreedily helping myself to two cocktails, despite having no prospects as a woman in business

Oxford Finance Society

Probably the most obvious one when it comes to getting bang for your buck. All of their events are free, so really it is just bang. OFS is a society dedicated to an industry known for its daunting salaries. In addition to endless sponsor events, OFS has its famous President’s Drinks at the beginning of each term, which will provide all the classy drinks you need to start a boozy evening. In the past, OFS have hosted Prosecco parties on a boat and cocktail parties at the Duke of Cambridge, and this term President’s Drinks will be held at The Varsity Club on the 23^rdOctober.

The classiest of Oxford events. Red chinos and little black dresses are expected

Law Society

No, it is not just for lawyers. Yes, they have law events, but really it is just another great excuse to get your hands on some of the cash (read: alcohol) thrown at Oxford’s societies. You will have to buy membership, but as soon as that card is in your hands you can look forward to a parade of liver-stimulating events. When you then realise that it is time to do that law conversion (in order to fund your decadent lifestyle and keep the drinks flowing), you might want to go back and find some of those business cards you politely accumulated while sipping martinis under the spires.

Follow LawSoc on Ublend here.

Oxford Guild Champagne Socials

Dressing to impress at the Oxford Guild Social

Guild socials are not by definition free. You pay around a £6 entry fee, but wow is it worth it. The first Guild Social I went to was in Camera, and we were treated to unlimited champagne until we were too drunk to realise it had run out. There was unlimited G&D’s ice cream, delicious Fudge Kitchen fudge and trays and trays of Guylian chocolates. There were men in business suits, probably offering jobs with six-figure salaries, but no one really paid them any attention.

Belv-oh-dear

Working At Oxford Balls

College balls are the highlight of Trinity’s social calendar, but if you’re jammy you can enjoy all the fun without forking out £100+ for a ticket. True, you have to give up the first part of the night working in return for your “free” ticket but once you’re done, usually by 11ish, you can enjoy the rest of the ball with added vigor, and are guaranteed not to peak too early.

This is particularly good if you can work behind the bar or chasing away hilarious gate-crashers. And less great if you are picking up rubbish or cleaning loos. It makes sense to work at a top-end ball, as the perks are better and the food and alcohol run out later.

Galz galz galz working at Hilda’s Venetian Ball

Banking Dinners

Banking dinners deserve a story of their own, in fact we should probably write one. At around this time of year BAML, UBS, Goldman & Sachs and other investment banks are trying everything they can to entice bright-eyed Oxonians to their summer internship programmes by inviting them to three-course dinners at Malmaison, drinks parties in Côte or afternoon tea at the Randolph Hotel.

What’s great is that you don’t have to do E&M to go, and you don’t have to know loads about investment banking. In fact, they love it if you do an unrelated degree and are a bit clueless, as they feel like they’re teaching you and hooking you in from a previously untapped pool.

The obvious drawback with a banking dinner is that you have to talk about finance for a couple of hours, unless that’s your sort of thing, in which case they’re even better. The best way to find out about banking events is by joining the OFS mailing list.