OXFORD ACADEMICS SOLVE YETI MYSTERY
Turns out it isn’t that exotic at all. Apparently, it’s only a bear.
Zachary SpiroIn the most anticlimactic use of science since the discovery that head-banging does indeed damage your head, Oxford’s scientists have determined that the mysterious Yeti was probably a polar bear.
Bryan Sykes, geneticist at Wolfson College, published research supporting the claim that the mythical Yeti is no more than a bear on a mountain.
Evidence was collected from a sample claiming to be from a Yeti was compared against a variety of different DNA specimens, and completely matched a polar bear from up to 120,000 years ago.
All lies. Thanks, science.
Unfortunately, it also looks like the Yeti’s power (according to Tibetan legend) of killing all who see one is not addressed in Sykes’ research (and probably not true either).
Reports of Yetis have been around since the 19th Century, with the most recent being in Rusia in 2011, when a 2m tall gorilla-like creature was spotted trying to kill a farmer’s sheep.
The ‘gorilla’ was later revealed to be a man in a suit.
Wait, you’re saying that it’s not real?
Reactions have been mixed, as some students seem to welcome the replacement of legend with facts.
Others however, aren’t so happy. One New College third-year thought, “Well, it’s a bit shit, isn’t it?”
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