Three Lessons Of The Week

1. O wise one, O fair one

When he was 33, Alexander the Great cried tears of salt because there were no more worlds to conquer. Polina Ivanova, elected unopposed as the new President of the Union, is only 20.

In her blurb on the election forms which was sent to all members this week, Polina explains that she has helped Union treasurers “raise £54,833 and worked on the Union’s membership drive, helping secure £383,895”.

We should all take a moment to applaud Polina on her tremendous efforts to raise humanitarian aid for the impoverished Union. I think I speak for the entire population of Oxford when I say that we can but dream of a world populated solely by clones of this incredible woman.

2. Film-making is the new DJing is the new club-promoting

It used to be that everyone ran a club night. All it took was giving Babylove ~£120, printing five hundred flyers and thinking up some new order in which to sell a “Reggae / Funk / Soul / Disco / Hip-Hop / Rock’n’Roll / Dancehall” night to everyone.

As people’s friends ran nights it inevitably led, mutatis mutandis, to lots of people’s friends DJing, so that now it seems everyone is a DJ. Successfully mastering the subtle art of cross-fading between Hypnotize and Say My Name is no mean feat, but by now you’ll probably know someone who has once graced Babylove or Cellar’s decks.

Wednesday of 8th week at Babylove. Check out the DJ from 2-3am.

Right now the troisième passe-temps seems to be film-making. Every is shooting a short film or advert for one cause or another, with promo videos for magazines, parties, club nights, plays and other causes popping up everywhere.

I don’t really have a point but I have managed to write about clubbing and DJing with two completely unnecessary phrases in Latin and French, which will hopefully wind up a lot of people.

3. Oxford’s latest fetish

On a serious note, there’s a been a tremendous amount of whatabouttery over each newspaper’s BNOC lists. Some have made the point that the lists glorify an unpleasant culture of celebrity and gossip, which is probably true. Most people probably look at lists and either go “Who the hell is that?” or “Why should I know who they are?”.

Is this a story worth telling, dogg?

People rush to read the lists because the university community undoubtedly fetishises the idea of a BNOC, whether they’ll admit it or not.

Our lists are a bit underwhelming though. There are at least ten thousand 18-22 year olds here, and the most infamous of the whole group seem just to be people who run a society or a magazine.

I imagine the BNOC lists at other universities contain proper stories of legend, apocryphal or not, which whip around students halls and student unions feverishly. Like the University of Sussex girl, who after a busy fresher’s week, was supposedly nicknamed the ‘cum bucket’, and was given a fresh full one for her birthday.

All we have is hacks and thesps, which isn’t the most entertaining form of notoriety or infamy. (Though it will probably lead to a higher income bracket in the future, which is all that matters, right? God Save The Queen!).