Eight frustrating things only Notts students would understand

From joining a massive queue for coffee at Portland – to running away from the geese, all Notts students can relate to these frustrating experiences

UoN students come to Nottingham from everywhere; the north, the south, and even from across the globe. But it’s time to shed your former life and make your entire identity about being a Notts student. This usually means great times at Rock City, walking through our beautiful campus, or the collective refusal to call the Monica Patridge building by its actual name (either team Monny P or staying true to T&L).

But sometimes, it means we all experience some truly frustrating things on and around campus.

1. Queues at Portland Coffee

Portland Coffee is a guiding light for all UoN students, providing us with some much-needed caffeine (and 200 degrees no less!). But its popularity is both a blessing and a curse. Forget nipping into Portland between lectures for a quick pick-me-up, as the coffee shop now has infamous queues. You’ll need to allocate a full 20 minutes for queueing, both to order and to collect your coffee.

And a pro tip: make sure you keep an eye out for your drink. If you’re basic like me and love an oat milk latte, make sure someone else doesn’t nab your drink by mistake! This has, annoyingly, happened to me more than once.

2. Trying to find a space in George Green

I am not a George Green elitist; I often prefer the dark and slightly dingy Hallward library. However, some study sessions simply call for the light and space that George Green can provide.

Nothing can irritate an already stressed Notts student like trapsing up and down the George Green staircase searching for a space. You would think that five different levels would mean you could easily secure a spot.

What’s worse, is when students are taking up precious space during the exam-season rush to eat their Subway! It’s enough to defeat your motivation to do any work, and once you do find a space, you’re left staring at a blank screen.

3. When Moodle is ‘down’

As much as we might try to pretend it doesn’t exist, all students have to complete uni work, and Moodle has everything: catch-up lectures, reading lists, module handbooks. It is even where most of us upload our exams and coursework. It’s safe to say that Moodle is vital to your life as a student.

It is because of this that nothing can be quite as frustrating as when Moodle is mysteriously ‘down’ for maintenance, especially when you have been putting off the seminar reading until the day before.

I will admit that Moodle does give you warnings in advance of when and how long Moodle will be inaccessible for, but I have never once made a note of it. You might call it bad planning on my part, but I call it a personal vendetta.

4. Having a seminar or tutorial scheduled at 9am on Thursdays

Wednesdays are a big day for UoN students. Typically, Wednesday afternoons are blocked out for all manner of sports and societies, with an unforgettable night a Rock City for Crisis (or Bodega for Indie Wednesdays if you’re feeling a bit different).

Wednesday is arguably the biggest student night in Nottingham, and a seminar or tutorial scheduled on Thursday at 9am can feel life-shatteringly frustrating. Missing the occasional lecture can be guilt-free when it’s recorded. But a 9am seminar will have you questioning whether Crisis is really worth it, especially if you’re no longer a first year.

5. A full 34 bus on a rainy day

If you live in town, or anywhere in the Lenton triangle, you will be familiar with the 34 buses. The big orange bus transports many of us to and from uni every single day. And those of us who regularly use it, know that a rainy day means a full bus. Notts students all down Derby Road are packed in, so much so that condensation blurs every window. It is truly an unpleasant and annoying experience for all.

And, on more than one occasion, I have witnessed a 34 hurdle on through the rain, refusing to stop for soaking passers-by, since the bus is at full capacity.

6. Needing your uni card to get into buildings before 9am

A 9am, on any day of the week, is already frustrating. No student wants to force themselves out of the door, before the sun is even out, and journey onto a lifeless campus. At 8.50am on a cold autumn morning, the only thing that can ruin your day even further is when the automatic door to your lecture hall refuses to open. You’ll then have to spend the next 10 minutes either searching your bag for your uni card to get into the building, or stand next to the building awkwardly waiting for someone else to open it if you’ve forgotten your card.

7. The geese

University Park campus is beautiful, especially this time of year with the autumn leaves moving into a crisp winter morning. But what is not beautiful, is the constant fear of death from the flocks of geese loitering outside of the Law and Social Sciences building or down by the lake, ready to attack.

The only option (for people like me) is to cross the road, creating the biggest distance possible. Highly scary and highly annoying when you’re already late for your next lecture. Of course, I have never actually seen any of the geese hurt anyone, but their eyes tell me they’re simply waiting for the right time.

8. Double booked rooms

Both funny and frustrating depending on whether you’re in the room or outside, but after four long years at Nottingham, I am always entertained by the conundrum that is a double-booked room. Two professors battling it out, both claiming they have rightfully booked the seminar room, whilst all students look on in both dismay and mild entertainment.

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