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Literally just the best places in Nottingham you’re too poor to take your date to

Shottingham. The Paris of England.

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So, Valentine's Day didn't go to plan? Same. Maybe you're here because the night went so well and you're looking for the next date to plan (unlikely), or you fucked up big time and want to redeem yourself (almost certainly).

In the spirit of love, or lack of, we've scraped together a semi-decent compilation of what Nottingham has to offer to sort you with date ideas for every occasion.

La Rock

Ideal for people who like to pretend they’re not burdened with a student loan, La Rock has more than enough prestige to justify flaunting a “dinner with this one” insta post.

An evening here delivers gourmet food with gourmet service; transforming you and your partner into Gordon and Nigella for the night, you’ll be analysing that sashimi tuna niçoise like it's your partner’s texts after an argument.

Whether you’ve been eating Rutland Hall meals for the last 20 weeks, or from the North and looking for a taste of civilisation, this is the restaurant that’ll provide an escape into Upper Middle Class life for you.

Perfect for: anniversary dates.

The Alchemist

If you’re a fan of Harry Potter and drinking, this cocktail bar-cum-restaurant-cum-Snape’s potion storeroom is the perfect place to be.

Seemingly cultish and sporting an illuminati-like symbol, The Alchemist promises to be “one of your favourite haunts.” And maybe one of your favourite date places too.

This latest addition to Nottingham’s already thriving cocktail scene offers the mystery of Boilermaker, tastiness of Coco Tang, and friendliness of Tilt – sealed together with a periodic table inspired menu. Having spent your day in the labs, you might as well spend your date night there too.

Perfect for: first dates.

Savoy Cinema

This intimate and vintage cinema will be an all-time favourite for you and your bank account; it delivers the simple but classic movie date all for £4.75! Nothing screams romance more than snuggling beside each other on the Savoy’s love seats, eating snacks, and watching Fifty Shades Freed.

Perfect for: a standard date night

Wollaton Park

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Amongst the stuffed animals here is a beautiful park, café and the home of Batman – quite literally! Part of The Dark Knight trilogy was filmed here, and that’s probably the biggest claim to fame Nottingham has (apart from the one time Harry and Meghan popped by for 5 minutes).

Wollaton Park would make for a wonderful winter stroll, or summer picnic, or dog walk – it’s a date that you can dress up or down. Picture this: you and your date, surrounded by a lot greenery, beautiful scenery, and deer – alive and stuffed.

Perfect for: a casual date.

Escapologic Escape Rooms

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This will probably be the make-or-break date as you’ll actually have to get on, work together and solve the puzzles to escape. If you know any other couples this could be a great place for a group date.

Sure, tickets are pricey, but Nottingham’s apparently home to the best escape rooms in the country – don’t hold me to that, I got it from an escape room enthusiast and the site’s website. This is one horror awaiting your next date!

Perfect for: a unique date / a group date.

The Lost City Adventure Golf

Looking to impress your date? You probably won’t achieve that here, but it’s worth a shot (or 18). One of few indoor golf courses, this will take you and your date to all sorts of holes.

This is a prime place for a laid back, humorous time where things aren’t taken too seriously – unless if you get a hole in one, that shit has to be loudly announced so the other players know they’re dealing with a power couple.

Perfect for: a daytime date.

Kitty Café

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Food and animals; the two things your partner would choose over you. Now you can all harmoniously coexist at the Kitty Café; entry is a bit pricey and time spent there is limited, but I’m pawsitive you won’t need purr-suading to go if you’re a cat lover as every meowment spent there will be in great company…alongside your date.

If for nothing else, bring your date here to show them what life would be like if you broke up and they remained single for the rest of their life.

Perfect for: caturday date night.

Love is in the air in Nottingham

Shit puns aside, all that’s really needed for a special date is being in good company. But you are broke, so you'll have to settle for a Dominoes and Netflix.