A Cripps fresher jumped out of a second storey window and landed on his face

‘I don’t know why I did it. I blame the Sambuca’


Cripps fresher Bobby decided to throw himself out of a window in the small hours of Saturday 16th January. 

Amazingly he escaped almost unharmed – although he did break his nose. After a heavy night of drinking, Bobby and about 10 others went back to his friend’s room. After an hour of slurred drunken conversation, everyone was preparing to part ways and go to bed. However, Bobby impulsively threw himself out of the second-storey window onto the concrete below. When Bobby told his Mum about the “stunt”, she called him a “fucking twat”.

None of Bobby’s friends initially noticed their friend’s defenestration until they saw a boy stumbling into the distance with a broken nose and a ripped pair of jeans.

Bobby had to throw away both his t-shirt and jeans, he said: “It’s still a mystery. I don’t know why I did it. I blame Sambuca.” Bobby’s appearance has earned him the nickname Harry Potter with his friends from back home. Despite the huge swelling, his face healed incredibly quickly, and he returned back to normal (at least for him) within about a week.

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Bobby went to QMC on Saturday afternoon, having put brunch before his physical health. Amazingly, the guy in front of him in the queue had done exactly the same thing, but had come off far worse. The nurse laughed at Bobby, and then sent him through to the doctor, who didn’t quite see the funny side.

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That’s not yellow eye shadow…

If you’re ever lucky enough to take the infamous Bobby home after a night out, please remember to close and lock your window as soon as you get back.