Northumbria votes ITSELF worse than Newcastle

We have officially voted ourselves worse than our snooty Russell Group rival, Newcastle. 

New stats released by Whatuni, compiled by Northumbria students, said we were worse than Newcastle.

We couldn’t even save ourselves.

As the list was compiled entirely based on what we thought of our own stomping ground, there’s now undisputable evidence the smug red brick sitting next door to us is our superior.

Even we think so.

Though we sit pretty at respectable 36th place, it would seem we’ve let ourselves down since last year where we ranked at a monumental 18th.

Newcastle must have pissed a few freshers off too though, as the poshies voted themselves 16th most satisfied in last years poll.

Now both of the city’s uni’s are no longer playing with the big boys and Loughborough, voted over all best uni, have made a mockery of us all.

Adding to the humiliation of admitting we’re crap at being a uni is the fact Sunderland outplayed us. The enemies over the river clawed up a massive 46 places to make it into the to 20 of most satisfied unis.

In fact, absolutely no universities in the North East made it into the top 10.

In other aspects of our glorified student life the website picked our brains about, Northumbria consistently under performed in every single category.

We were the drunken kings of “City Life” in 2014 and now we’re a piss-poor third.

And if you’re naivley expecting to waltz into a sweet job as soon as you graduate, tough. We landed at an embarrassing 62nd when it came to job prospects.

We just aren’t what we used to be

Poverty and shite night life aside, we still consider ourselves happier than Durham who were biting our heels at number 35.

So although we’re stuck in a red brick sandwich, we’re still leaps and bounds above Cumbria and Teeside.

Thank god for that.