Union offers puppies as bribes to vote in election

Noone cares about the Sabbatical elections enough to vote.

So our Students Union have promised to draft in a roomful of guide dog puppies if they reach a mere 4,000 ballots by the time the elections close tomorrow afternoon.

Yes, that is 4,000 votes out of over 30,000 students – they really must be desperate.

Cruel, persuasive tactics.

Despite the tremendous effort that the candidates have gone to, the SU have received little over 1,000 votes.

It might be something to do with the ill-drafted flyers that are littered around campus, or that you can’t even leave the sanctuary of the library for a coffee without being bombarded by strangers.

No one cares

That is where the puppies come in.

The Students Union know what makes us tick, so yesterday it announced its puppy plans in an attempt to get us to agree with democracy.

Chances are they will be drafted in by a charity and most definitely will not be a permanent fixture.

As lovely as it would be to have some cute little labs knocking around uni for a day, seeing is believing.

But we still won’t be voting for the right reasons.

Elections for the sabbatical team are an important part of university life, they run our union and promise all sorts of wonderful things.

But luring people in with the promise of a wagging tail for a couple of hours is an unfair, if not slightly genius marketing technique.

Because who could resist those puppy dog eyes?