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The New Year’s Resolutions that every Manchester student needs to make

New year, new you

Whether your New Year was spent tucked up with Mumsy, a cheeseboard and prosecco in the Home Counties or you were out celebrating in style, it's likely that you at least thought about making a half-arsed New Year's Resolution to make 2018 your year. But for those of you who cringe at the idea of going through January sober and without takeaways, it can be hard to find a resolution to stick to.

Luckily for you, here at The Tab Manchester we've compiled a list of the ultimate New Year's Resolutions for students in Manchester so that you can feel a bit better about having the odd pint here and there.

Buy club tickets before final release

You know the drill: there's a night on that you've been eyeing up for ages, and with a week to go before the event, you see that tickets are still on first release. With a sense of smug satisfaction that you'll get in for £4 rather than the £13 final release, you close your laptop and tell yourself that you'll get them later that night.

Only you don't buy them later that night, and the next time you check on Skiddle or Fatsoma, the event is down to final release – or worse, sold out. You promise yourself this will never happen again, but we all know that's a lie.

"Why did I pay £15 for this?"

Actually start going to the Ali G

The Ali G can be intimidating. Everyone is sat huddled in groups, trying desperately not to make eye contact or trip over a stray laptop charger. In 2017, you would do a lap of each floor before deciding against it and making the trek across to sub-zero Blue 4.

Make 2018 your Ali G year. Claim your space. Tell your friends, course, and house. Everyone needs to know how much you go there.

Stop shopping at the big Sainsbury's

If you had £1 for every time you said you need to start shopping at Lidl, you could probably afford to do your food shopping in Sainsbury's for a week. Whilst it's so convenient, it's expensive enough to burn a hole in your student loan. If you shop here and buy tickets on final release, you best start accepting the inevitability of the maxed out overdraft by March.

It will destroy your loan

Get out of Fallowfield for once

You've never been to Salford, MediaCity or the Peakes, but you keep meaning to; it's just never the right time, you know? When you're living on the Magic Bus route it can be easy to forget that there is a lot more to Manchester than M14 – get out there and see it.

Stop talking really loudly about how mad you are on a night out

If you're one of those people who can't get on a Magic Bus or sit in a lecture theatre without unecessarily raising your voice to let everyone know how much of an utter sesh head you are, 2018 is the year to stop. There's nothing wrong with talking about your night, but don't shout about it for all to hear. No one cares. Stop overcompensating.

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Wow, a chair

Go back to wearing all your wavey garms

You decided against packing the harem pants and your 12 vintage FILA sweatshirts when you went home for Christmas in favour of your standard, "real-world" attire. But now you're in Fallowfield again you can go back to the hooped earrings, siggy ring, baggy tracksuit bottoms, muddy trainers and your 3rd hand Dunlop tee. Who cares if you never wore sportswear brands before uni? This is your culture now.

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Yeah I've always had a passion for elephants

Get on the bus before its rammed

A 9am is bad enough, but if you're unlucky enough to get to the bus stop at 8:30, you're in for a cosy ride into uni. If you can't hack being up so early without a seat, hop on at the stop before Sainsbury's (or just get up earlier you lazy sod).