Big pets on campus: A day in the life of Doug the dog

Factfile

Name: Doug
Age: 8 months/6 dog years
Breed: Border Collie
Relationship Status: Single (but not looking for any commitment right now)
Likes: Chewing sticks, playing fetch, midget gems and Broadchurch
Dislikes: Sharing food, Jeremy Kyle and tall strangers from the 70s
Favourite Song: Meatloaf – I would do anything for love
Favourite Film: Angeldog

In his fave chair

A day in the life

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We covertly followed Douglas around one day to gain insight into how he lives his life and to understand what makes him tick. The results were absolutely fascinating and are as follows.

9am: Doug seems to stir, he licks himself and sniffs the wall before rolling over and falling back to sleep

Caught in the act

10am: Doug stands up, leaves his bed and heads downstairs for a drink. He then pines at the back door, requesting to go to the toilet, before doing a wee and a Shitzu. Then making his way back inside for breakfast.

11am: After demolishing his daily Weetabix, Doug wanders around a bit before settling down to watch the last of this morning and the daily news headlines.

Play us a tune

12pm: After making the short walk to the park with his pals, Doug bumps into an elderly Labrador he allegedly tried to hump last time he was out. He plays it cool and pretends he didn’t see him.

4pm: After his wash and his nap he has a brief stint on the piano before settling on the settee with his homies waiting for Jordan to get back from work.

Chillin wiv ma bezzie Jordan

7pm: Jordan gets back from work and Doug gets so excited he wets himself before being sent out in disgrace. He later eats his tea. A choice of Chicken, Beef, or Lamb. Today he chose Lamb.

9pm: As its Monday, Doug trots off to bed to watch Broadchurch where he is appalled to see that Joe Miller gets found not guilty of murder. He then talks at great lengths about the many flaws in the British justice system. Before falling asleep to Bon Jovis greatest hits

Na night