Medics in trouble with uni for ‘James Bondage in Hymens aren’t forever’ musical

Embarassed uni bosses are probing Liverpool Medics over a musical called “James Bondage in Hymens aren’t forever”.

The script – which tells the story of characters such as James Bondage, Mrs Sluttypenny, Pussy Galore and Brownfinger – was branded “misogynistic” by feminist campaigners.

The musical is filled with jokes about dildos, fingering, hymens and sluts.

The play begins with Bondage walking on stage, “but instead of holding a gun he wiggles a great big dildo”.

At the end of the comedy, James Bond and Pussy Galore tie up and rape “Doctor No Means No”.

Now the uni has raised concerns and released a joint statement with the Guild about the script, which was written for the 140-year-old Liverpool Medical Students’ Society (LMSS) annual Smoker event.

They said: “We expect our students to adhere to appropriate standards of behaviour.

“The university, the Guild of Students and the Liverpool Medical Students’ Society are shocked at the content of this material which is clearly unacceptable. The university is investigating.

“The university and the Guild will continue to work together in combating sexism and sexual harassment.”

The Guild also said: “We believe the material in this document is completely unacceptable and will be working with the university and the society to investigate and ensure that the content for this performance is suitable.”

The LMSS President is yet to comment.

As a 00-agent, he works in the MI-6(9) headquarters with Mmmm and Mrs SluttyPenny to defeat Dr No means No and The Man with the Golden Cum.

The script also allowed for a potential extra named “Handjob/blowjob”.

Cringe worthy songs include “Brownfinger” and “Jizz and let jizz”.

The feminist society said it was not a laughing matter.

A statement said: “We’re appalled that this is still what passes for humour in some parts of our university.

“Rape and sexual assault is never a laughing matter and we firmly believe that it should never be used as joke material.”

Laura Bates, the founder of everyday sexism, condemned the “script that came up with horribly misogynistic rape jokes”.

The leak coincides the Guild’s Call It Out campaign against sexual harassment.

Thin plot details released in the leak showed other childish jokes. In a scene worthy of Shakespeare featuring villain Brownfinger, “who is notorious for giving all his patients a very thorough rectal exam”.

It continues: “Pussy Galore becomes really turned on with all this fingering, and tries to seduce Brownfinger.”

Drugged tea and slutty clothes: the worst lines from the script

• “All the girls perform a gloriously slutty dance… in retro slutty clothes.”
• “Brownfinger reports Pussy Galore [for trying to seduce him] – Dr No means No finds out about this – she is sent to a fitness practice meeting.”
• “Mrs Sluttypenny comes in and gives him a drugged cup of tea (which has viagra in)/”
• “When tied up, Pussy Galore rips off Dr No’s trousers and begins to ride him” – against his will.”
• “The reason he is so against sluttiness because he now suffers from ED and is bitter about it all.”