The different types of guys you’ll meet during Leeds Freshers’ Week
There’s always a guy who makes you think ‘how can DnB make someone THIS happy?’
As Freshers’ Week approaches yet again, I thought what better thing to do than reflect on the most haunted and blurry week of my life. Unfortunately, there isn’t really anything that anyone can do to prepare you for these clubbing nights so the closest thing was providing you freshers with a warning list of the different guys you will inevitably meet during this fateful week.
Mr Try Hard
Yes, of course, it’s the first day of uni and his dad has probably reminded him to “Show those girls what you’re made of” so he’s come in, full guns blazing, just desperate to prove to girls that he’s cool with a banging sense of humour. Usually, you will be able to identify this one when you hear him announcing the classic line: “Yeah, we broke up but I dumped her” even though he was undoubtedly the dumpee.
Mr Has a Mortgage and Two Kids
If you’ve had enough to drink to not notice this guy then consider yourself lucky. But for those of you who face one of these men the line, “I’m only 24” will become a very familiar one from the face of a man who is at least 38. The only reason to intentionally get close to one of these men is to take his phone and call his wife to pick him up.
Mr Has a Girlfriend but it’s Freshers’ so Who Cares!
Oh dear. So he’s come to uni as a taken man but his girl’s not here and apparently what she can’t see won’t hurt. Now, don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean every boyfriend will be this guy but you will, most likely, meet a boyfriend, or girlfriend who is this person. Don’t even get me started on the tension in the flat when the partner comes up to visit…
After having spoken to friends at several different unis it seems inevitable that there will be one guy you meet during Freshers who strongly feels he can express himself better with his hands than he can with his words. If you’re going to Space or Pryzm you’ll probably see at least 10 of these guys in one night. Tell a member of staff and tell him to f**k off.
Mr Unpredictable/ Mr Jekyll and Hyde
Leeds had me genuinely baffled with this one because I cannot begin to describe the unpredictability of the boys I met during Freshers’ Week. A few examples include the guy who peacefully read Bronte novels during the day but was the wildest on a night out, and then the odd boy who’d sit in the corner of pres but actually turned out to be the closest thing to normal out of the whole bunch. Nothing can quite prepare you for these ones so all I wish you is good luck.
Mr Would Rather Not Be Here
Yes, you can tell he’d rather be anywhere but here, and you can’t help but think, “bless him” and “honestly, same”. He’s probably the most relatable guy on this list and is generally unproblematic so if you see this one hanging around pres, know that he’s probably just as apprehensive about the weirdos around the room as you are.
Mr Having the Best Time of his Life
He’s shouting at the top of his lungs, arms all over the place- frankly he’s unmissable. You’re probably having a good time too but you’re also looking at him and wondering how DnB can make someone THIS happy.
So, while I hope you’re not unlucky enough to encounter any of these guys during your Freshers’ Week, realistically, that’s quite impossible. But maybe somehow amid the cursed crowds of Pryzm you’ll find a Prince Charming? In other words, praying for you freshers.