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Guys, it’s time to admit that Beckett is just so much better than Uni of

I’d rather be a poly than a … you know the rest

Every year we see the crappy university league tables come out published by the elite, and every year we see the mighty Beckett lower than sodding Uni of. Sure, you can point and laugh, but you're just laughing out of insecurity, because you know the truth. Beckett is better than Uni of. Fact. And although innocent prospective students might look at it and go "Beckett must be pretty shit then", they're not to blame, they're young and naive. How are they supposed to know the truth?

Beckett is a hell of a lot better than Uni of, and you're lying to yourself if you think otherwise.

Did somebody say 13 years in a row?

I'll start with the easiest one. Varsity. No matter how many posh boys in their tiny rugby shorts whinge, there's no arguing with the fact that Beckett are the undisputed kings and queens of Varsity. Every year Uni of get absolutely slapped all over the place by the utter merciless domination of the unstoppable Beckett boys and girls. Its always the same: you think you've got a prayer this year so you get wined up for the big rugby game to go and support all the posh boys pretending to be men. But all their private school training could never prepare them for this. And you can sing about BTECs all you want, but you'll still be battered by the purple army in voice, and on the pitch.

Award winning architecture vs concrete mess

The Roger Stevens building is maybe the most disgusting thing in Leeds: even Pete the Hobo has more appealing features than that cock up of a building. Compare it to the towering masterpiece that is Broadcasting Place, a magnificent rusty Jenga block that beat the Burj Khalifa to the 'Best Tall Building in the World' award in 2010 and its majesty hasn't faded one bit. Also have you seen Beckett's Headingley campus? It's like walking into an alternate reality; squirrels run around on the beautiful acre in front of the amazing James Graham building which stands beautifully as the jewel of the campus.

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Laidlaw ain't got shit on this

Ain't no party like a Beckett party

Ask anyone and they'll tell you Beckett students have the most fun in Leeds. From raging house parties to ket-fuelled raves, Beckett does it all. Whilst you're all getting VK poured on your vintage crop top listening to Peter Andre in Fruity, Becket are out actually having a good time. If you want a good night out in Leeds, just ask a Beckett student. They'll either tell you the best places to go or invite your round to their mate's party even though they've just met you because they're all legends.

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Can't spell Beckett without Ket

Poly vs Posh

If there was ever an embodiment of the North vs South debate, Beckett vs Uni of is it. Beckett are always up for a laugh, friendly and are immune to the cold whereas Uni of are always hiding their southern bitterness behind a faux fur coat they found in a charity shop.

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This 'effortless' look actually cost £300, 1oz of gold, and a Leopard's life

To put it simply, Beckett have steak bakes, Uni of have foie gras. And as much as you try to hide it with your "vintage" Ellesse jumpers (I had one too when I was 6), there's no escaping the fact that Mummy and Daddy's money is floating you through uni and you've never had to work a day in your life.

You better work bitch

If you've graduated from Uni of, you've probably heard a sentence like this: "Did you get that job you applied for? No? Oh that's a shame, who got it? A Beckett student? Really?!". That's because us Beckett students are just so much more employable than you. In 2016, 97% of Beckett graduates were either employed or in further study, the 3rd best in England and the highest in Yorkshire (DHLE Survey). You might have a nice piece of paper from a redbrick uni but we're armed to the teeth with skills preparing us for the real world, hence why Beckett has a higher rate of graduate employment. Suck it.

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Smile if you've got a job

Unconditional love

Rumour has it that if you walk into any Beckett building on an open day, they'll give you an unconditional offer into uni. And its almost true. I've never heard of a university give out so many unconditional offers in my life, and its amazing. Not only does it give more people a chance to go to uni, it also takes the pressure and stress away from those tricky A level exams. Forget Uni of's shitty high offers, save yourself the stress and come to Beckett instead, we'll accept anyone. I mean literally. Anyone.