How to nail a guy’s night out in Leeds
Time to crack open a cold one with the boys
Saturdays are for the boys. Undeniable fact. Any night can be a good night, just get the lads together, grab a big bag of cans and you're all set. No drama, no fuss, just fun. Forget the girls, tonight is all about the boys. And of all the places to have a great night out, sweaty-ketty Leeds tops the lot. There's more pubs and clubs in Leeds than there are VKs in Pryzm. Which is a lot. As good as a night out in Leeds can be, there's a certain knack to getting it just right.
Get loaded up at pres
I don't care what you're drinking, as long as it's alcoholic. Wine, gin, rum, beer, cider, rubbing alcohol, or worse, Strongbow Dark Fruits, they're (mostly) all acceptable to drink at pres, as long as it gets you absolutely smashed. To nail this night out, you want to be stumbling out of the door into the taxi, drink to you see double. Careful though, you don't want to be on the chunder express and be that guy who doesn't make it out. Pace yourself, know your limits, and make sure you reach those limits.
There's a method to the madness though. The more you drink before you go out, the less money you'll spend while you're out. Avoid those £4 pints and double jack and coke that costs an arm and a leg by getting rat-arsed before you hit the town.
Don't forget the games
An essential part of any guy's night out is the pre-drink games. All the classics come out to play: truth or dare, never have I ever, and the eternal game, ring of fire. If you've not been to a guy's pres before and played ring of fire, I'm sorry to tell you, but you're not a real lad. Vile concoctions that look like something from Harry Potter's cauldron are necked like water, and punishments are enacted for those who are too weak to keep up.
Put on your typical lads 'uniform'
Jeans, nice trainers, t-shirt under an unbuttoned checked shirt. Sorted.
Location, location, location
If you want a solid night out, you've scouted out your options beforehand. Unlike the girls, the guys don't care about getting the perfect Insta photo with a fancy cocktail and some fairy lights, everything comes into play: the music they play there, how cheap a pint is, how busy it is, etc. Is it Bongos Bingo, Bierkeller, Yates' Quids, or Pryzm? Or everywhere? It's a strategically planned operation, requiring input from all members of the sesh party.
Up all night to get lucky
As it sometimes happens, one of you might pull on the lad's night out. Not to worry, it's totally acceptable. If one of you is chatting up a girl, or dancing with her, the other lads will give her a quick look, and if she's up to standard, a congratulatory nod or wink towards said mate and he's good to go. None of this 'stick together' crap, if he somehow managed to pull, you'll hear about it all in the morning, no need to 3rd wheel him all night and scare the girl off.
The '10 to 2, you'll do' rescue mission
Right, you're out with a group of your mates in a club having a cracking time, and the night's starting to wind down to a close. You're all enjoying yourselves, the booze is flowing freely, and that's when you see it. Your mate Kieran is chatting up a girl at the bar in Yates'. Is it a girl? Could be a horse in this lighting.
Anyway, the point is, you know he'll regret it in the morning. He's on the rebound after his lass dumped him last week, and he's desperate. His beer goggles are so bad he could have thought Katie Hopkins was a solid 9 (lets be real, no amount of beer could make her look like a 10). So the mission commences. You make eye contact with Dave, who's seen the same thing, and there's an unspoken signal between you. You walk over together, Dave distracts the girl, and you grab Kieran. He'll try to resist you, but he'll thank you in the morning. We've all been there.
A happy ending
After a stress free and drama free night without the girls, you've got to treat yourself with a nice bit of comfort food, and where better to end the night than at the Holy Grail that is Crunchies. When you're pissed, the 1 star hygiene rating is forgotten and forgiven, you just want that greasy wrap more than anything else in the world.
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