These 13 things are officially the scariest things you can encounter as an Exeter student

Checking your bank balance post TP Wednesday

Halloween hath sprung, along with some truly frightening times. Whilst when we were younger, the scariest things we can think of were along the lines of: witches, ghosts, cancelled Halloween discos, and someone giving us back a friendship bracelet, unfortunately university has taught us a few things that are far, far worse.

1. Graduating

Brutal, no survivors, quickly approaching.

2. EBART going down

*Desperately emails Info Hub to persuade them there really was a glitch, it wasn’t just you*.

3. The Pret queue barriers

The pure shiver of fear when you walk into Forum and see that queue snaking back to Marketplace.

4. Any of the campus coffee shops running out of oat milk

“Guys, I’m actually low-key lactose intolerant” *finishes eating their cheese sandwich and KitKat*.

5. Old Laf

Shared bathrooms, need I say more?

6. Coming home / downstairs to find your flatmate’s week old washing up stacked up à la Jenga

It’s not “soaking” Anna, it’s growing new stuff.

7. Missing bin day

You’re officially an adult now babes.

8. Your landlord messaging to say they’re “popping round”

Double dread if they’re coming round for a viewing.

9. Trying to find any room in Amory

To this day I still can’t work out where B315 is despite a term’s worth of seminars there.

10. Not having a Reading Week

For anyone who excitedly looked at their timetable, skipping to the magical week six only to find lectures and seminars there as usual, you have my deepest sympathy.

11. Getting with someone only to find out they are actually an military guy on a night out from Lympstone Commando

Did you even check how old he was?

12. The price of a Marketplace meal deal

First Tesco, now Marketplace, 2022, sort yourself out x

13. Going to a seminar when you haven’t done the reading and getting called on

Time to bs like never before.

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