The seven types of Exeter boys you’ll find on Tinder

Tinder has become even more popular recently due to the closure of beloved haunts such as TP, Fever and Cavern. Gone are the days to meet somebody organically- now all you can do is enrol in the algorithm and hope for the best. Here are the seven types of boys that Exeter is famed for.

The softboi

Usually sporting a pair of round tortoiseshell glasses and an Urban Outfitters beanie, his profile will contain at least two pictures of him reading obscure modernist novels, usually sitting on the steps of Reed Hall for the aesthetic. Lives for Cavern nights, and goes to Phoenix in the DAY just to prove that he cares about art. Thinks he is Exeter’s answer to Timothee Chamalet. Would be much better suited at Leeds Uni, but his parents wouldn’t let him go. Thinks he’s edgy for not having a Pret subscription.

Bio: “If your favourite movie is directed by Wes Anderson then I’m already in love with you.”

Opening line: “Sooo what books have you been reading recently? I’ve just finished Lolita, it was so eye opening x.”

The tory

Another instantly recognisable profile on the dating circuit, you’ll be able to spot one of these boys instantly, usually given away by the subtle flash of a signet ring in their photos. Definitely sports a dodgy mullet and a Schoffel, aka a Chelsea lifejacket. Wearing school stash in at least one photo is a must for this classic Exetah boi, despite the fact that he most likely went to a boarding school in the middle of nowhere (think Radley or Sherbourne). Guaranteed to have been in Penny C or Holland Hall as a fresher, and probably lives on Vic Street or Penny Road now- daddy pays x. Owns at least two black labs, and thinks that Skepsis playing at the Lemmy that one time is the height of cool.

Bio: “Pheasant hunting is my passion- although those aren’t the only birds I score ;).”

Opening line: “What school did you go to? x”

The EURFC boy

As soon as those sacred green and white stripes pop up on your screen you know you’re in for a treat. This profile will consist of blurry action shots of him in white shorts that are far too tight, a formal photo in his ones, and a photo of him in a dress (why does this seem to be a prerequisite for all rugby boys?). Also famed for getting one picture in a Chiefs kit and using it on every form of social media; probably has it framed on his nan’s desk. If you do have a conversation, the first thing they’ll tell you is that they could have gone pro if they didn’t tear their ACL when they were 15.

Bio: “occasionally known to chase an egg🏈” Plain and simple. Just like their chat.

Opening line: “Yooo u gonna be at TP tonight aha x.” (sent on a Wednesday)

 

The gym lad

Definitely went to the Safer Sex Ball just to get his rig out, and has the photos on Tinder to prove it. If you ever spot this specimen in the Penny Road CoOp he’ll be buying out their entire stock of chicken breasts and full fat milk. Will spend more time looking at topless men on Insta than you do. Profile consists of: Shirtless pic, gym selfie, pic of their dog (we love variation), and another selfie in a tank top. Will only swipe right if you’re a gym bunny so that they can coordinate their Gymshark gear with you.

Bio: “Six foot Eight inches- those are two different measurements ;).” SHUT UP.

Opener: “Aha this might sound creepy but think I just saw you benching in PureGym?”. Yes. It did sound creepy.

 

The wannabe DJs

Will have their DJ name in their bio, along with a link to their SoundCloud. Their claim to fame is that they once played at their mate’s house party and got three compliments. Will position their decks right next to their window and play their mixes obnoxiously loud so that everyone knows what a GREAT DJ they are (please stop). Their wet dream is to play at Move on a Friday night. They look like they haven’t had a good night’s sleep since they were 13, and will only swipe you right if you have a nose ring or wear blue eyeliner. Usually found in the Old Tiv and Polsloe area, surrounded by locals who have estate patrol on speed dial.

Bio: Doesn’t have a bio, but their anthem is Glue by Bicep. Tells you all you need to know.

Opening line: “So what’s your favourite night out? mine is Move x.”

 

The house profile

Usually second year house of boys on Springfield/Vic/Culverland who, as a result of the lockdown, haven’t felt the touch of a woman in quite some time. You swipe right for the one fit one only to find out he’s the only one with a girlfriend. It’s a hard life.

Bio: Their names and pint times.

Opener: “Sooo which one of us has caught your eye then haha x.”

 

The Exeter College student

Picture the scene. You’re mindlessly swiping away, wondering how this is what your love life has come to, when a vaguely attractive male pops onto your screen. You nearly swipe right before peering at their bio and recoiling. Two words: Exeter. College. You swipe left faster than a rugby lad can chop a pint, feeling vaguely disgusted at yourself. Its okay. We’ve all been there. If you do decide to inspect the profile closer, the inclusion of a Saturday TP pic is guaranteed, along with a brightly coloured North Face puffa and a questionable trim.

Bio: “Not actually 19 haha.”

Opener: “What A-Levels did you do x.”

Happy swiping!

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