Everything you’ll know if you’re an International Student
Cold and confused is your life now
The English you learnt in school is useless 90% of the time
After about three hours you’ll end up downloading the Urban Dictionary app (100% recommend.) Your friends throw slang around like it’s their job and it’s your job to work out what it is. This would have been useful when I asked a guy if he would like to be my eating out buddy. I mean’t Wagamama… he meant…yeah.
The only, and I mean THE ONLY universities your family have heard of are Oxford and Cambridge
‘Oh you don’t go there?’ – you’ll hear grandma say – ‘That’s such a shame’. ‘Do you study in London then?’ – no.
Everyone asks about your accent…
and they hardly ever get it right. Margaret from Sainsburys thought I was Spanish, Virgin Mobile assistant “could swear you’re French” and my lecturer asked “whereabouts do you live in Austria?”… I’m from Poland Julie wind it in.
You’re not a master of accents either
Especially English accents. The only one you can recognize is the Northern one, another language all together… Apparently my flatmate has a West Country accent and the neighbour sounds like a Londoner. At least that’s what my English friends told me, I hear no difference.
Uni student’s knowledge of Geography is very poor…
“When I first told my friends I am from Singapore they said: oh really!?!?!?!?! I always wanted to visit China is it nice???” – Hayley, 3rd year, Exeter
The strange food British people eat…
“In my freshers week my British friends pressured me to eat a spoonful of Marmite because ‘it’s better than Nutella’……. safe to say I have trust issues now” – Joanna, 3rd year, Leeds
You don’t really get jokes about Made in Chelsea…
Love Island or The Only Way is Essex (TOWIE!!!!!). Brace yourself, you’ll find out soon enough that binge watching at least one of them will be necessary to be involved in the chat about the drama. Otherwise your girl squad will create another chat- just to debate whether Jamie or Spencer is the biggest fuckboy. They justify it with the fact that they didn’t want you to feel alienated. (Thanks, girls)
Everyone apologizes to you for (trigger warning) ……BREXIT
… and you’re trying to play it cool. The truth is you still don’t believe that it actually happened and you’re low-key shitting yourself (please no deport.) However, in order to worry about your job prospects in the future you have to graduate first, good luck with that.
Fomo will be a massive part of your life…
every Christmas, Easter or Summer holidays. Your friends will FaceTime you while they hang out together and you will be hundreds of miles away. One day, when FOMO peaks, you’ll decide to spontaneously jump on a plane to see them because a long distance friendship is just too much to handle. I mean… that’s cute but your bank account won’t be pleased.
You miss your HOME a lot as well…
and every time you come back your friends treat you like that foreign auntie back in the 50’s who brings sweets and other treats from abroad. Your family gets annoyed when you come back with any tiny signs of an English accent.
Dairy Milk is not quite Milka chocolate…
and you miss it a lot. Digestives, however, are the best thing that could ever happen to you. Digestives & tea, Netflix & chill. Two fave combos, hit me up boys.
Do I have to say anything else? Before leaving for Uni my home friends gave me a trusty survival kit: an umbrella and a raincoat.
Despite all of this you love your English Uni experience, and wouldn’t trade it for anything else. After all, there is nothing better than watching Bake Off with a cup of tea in the company of your favourite people and their accents.