From Londoners to Pollockers, these are the 10 most annoying people you’ll meet at Edinburgh Uni

As an Edinburgh Uni student, I think I can safely say, we are insufferable. From the Pollock boys who have never washed a dish a day in their lives to the London girlies who view Edinburgh as a village retreat. I hate to break it to you, but there is no going through a degree at the University of Edinburgh without meeting people who make you question your will to live.

I’ve compiled a list of the 10 most annoying people you’re bound to meet at Edinburgh Uni. Feel like some of these hit too close to home? Read this article and get the hint, it’s time to make a change x

1. The Londoner 

As a London girlie myself, consider this my formal apology to all you Scots. It’s true, we are the most pretentious people to roam Edinburgh. Being in a room full of so many London accents and hearing someone describe Edinburgh as a “cute town” is enough to make me want to renounce my Southern heritage.

The Londoner isn’t annoying just because they’re from London, but because they want you to know they are from London. Daunt Books tote bag in one hand and Joe and the Juice membership in the other, you can take the girl out of London but you can’t take the London out of the girl.

Forever a rah London girl x

2. The tutorial know-it-all 

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There’s always that one person in your tutorial group who knows how to make you feel dumb. Nothing is more humbling than having to give your opinion after this person has just spoken. They dominate discussion, challenge you on the most basic of points and even try to fight the professor on their ideas. I know Edinburgh is a Russell Group uni but babes you’re doing far too much x

3. The Pollock-er

It feels wrong to target a whole accommodation block but Pollock students leave me with no choice. You can always tell if someone is in Pollock or is an ex-Pollock student, simply because of how few brain cells they have.

They might be able to dress decently with their internationally imported wardrobe but when it comes to real-life skills, the Pollock student has none. Having a conversation with a Pollock student about cooking and cleaning might be the most infuriating thing ever. Dish soap??? Anti-bac wipes?? Are these the names of a new G-Wagon?

Pov you ask a Pollock boy to make you dinner:

4. The trust fund baby 

“What do you mean your parents don’t pay your rent???” Listen, there is nothing wrong with having your parents help you out with the cost of uni, but Edinburgh trust fund babies are a different breed. They spend all their money in Armstrongs and think that getting a student job is committing a felony. The most annoying thing about these people is that they will complain if you tell them you’re on a tight budget and then proceed to flaunt their money in your face. How rich of them.

5. The boring lecturer 

Feeling restless? Have an annoying flatmate who makes too much noise in the middle of the night? I invite you to sit in a politics lecture in Gordon Aikman. Most lecturers are fun, engaging and interesting but there will be a time when you come across one who will send you straight to sleep. The monotonous voice, the black and white slideshow and presentations that last longer than an hour. Lectures with this type of professor must be the most expensive sleep therapy to ever exist.

6. The nightmare flatmate 

Nothing says welcome home like an insufferable flatmate. Annoying flatmates are a realm of their own, there are simply too many types to count. From the Karen who sends 50 WhatsApp messages to the flat group chat about a spec of dust on the kitchen counter, to the absolute slobs who let their unwashed dishes erode under mould. Maybe it’s the mysterious flatmate who you’ve only seen twice over a year or the chaotic flatmate who forgets to send you money for bills. Living with a nightmare flatmate is, unfortunately, an Edinburgh canon event.

Hope this doesn’t hit too close to home x

7. The fourth-floor gossiper 

If only they put the same amount of effort into their studying as they put into their yapping. The fourth-floor gossipers make my blood boil. Not even noise-cancelling headphones are enough to drown out the sound of their giggling, chewing and whining. Do us a favour and yap away on the ground floor and let us academic weapons panic about our midterms in peace.

8. The American exchange student 

I hate to generalise but I have to for this one. Arguably worse than the Londoner is the American exchange student. They came to Edinburgh because it was always their dream to study at Hogwarts and they find it insane that Edinburgh also has a Starbucks. They will tell you that Scotland is a part of England and the UK is deprived because of its lack of ranch. When they talk, they think everyone is quiet because they’re listening but really it’s because we’re trying to drown you out x

9. The Pleasance gym bro

Brooding with testosterone, the Pleasance gym bro makes me never want to step foot into the gym again. He’ll eye up your form but will never tell you what you’re doing wrong, he’ll hog all the machines and never wipe them down. He’ll play his music loud enough for the residents of Haymarket to hear and definitely puts on his Hinge that his ideal Sunday is “gym and a roast”.

I need Pleasance to look like this all the time

10. The year abroad returner 

Similar to the person who “found themselves” on their gap year in Bali, is the person who makes their year abroad their entire personality. They’ll come back from Berlin and frown upon the icky Cowgate clubs or come back from Paris and chain-smoke 10 packs of cigarettes a day. The year abroad returner refuses to accept that they were only away for a year and will let every future employer know that they studied in two universities instead of one.

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