A definitive list of the most basic halloween costumes
Bring on the basic
With Halloween fast approaching, forget mid-terms – the priority is choosing what you’ll be wearing this Halloween. Despite unlimited possibilities and scope for creativity, there are a few basic costumes which will no doubt appear splattered over Instagram or next week’s clubbers.
Which only begs the question:
Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the most basic of them all?
A classic. You are probably fully aware of just how basic you look – and quite frankly you couldn’t care less. You’ve just found an excuse to wear a lace black bodysuit and add some black eyeliner to your normal make up look. You’ll spend the night dancing and posing for photos with your fellow lingerie-wearing felines.
An honourable mention should also go to the cat's slightly less common cousin, the deer, which is effectively the same look – you just throw a fur gilet over the top.
A black swan/dark angel
Because if we are honest, the two are basically interchangeable – whether you’re trying to relive your ballet days or you just wanted to prove you have another side to your one-dimensional personality. You may have the added advantage of creating your own bubble of personal space in a club with your tutu, but you are also essentially wearing a piece of fabric with holes in it for a skirt, so have fun queuing. Bonus basic point if your bestie is dressed as your innocent counterpart (although you both really wanted to be the devil).
Do you gym? Are you on the rugby team? Halloween is your time to shine. You’ve been working on your body for the past five months but since summer you haven’t had an excuse to whip your shirt off – time to remind everyone just what they’re missing out on. Chances are the only person you’ll be saving is the flatmate drowning in vodka.
*Queues Baywatch music*
Whip out the extensions, contour some abs, bedazzle a bra and you’re good to go. We get it, you’re magical – but after seeing 50 other girls in the queue with the exact same idea some of the magic begins to disappear. You’ll be finding glitter all over your pillows for weeks – but it was worth it.
The girls can try to convince me that they’re trying to make a feminist statement and are trying to empower women all they want, but in reality they were just drawn to the tight corsets and bright colours. Whilst I’m all for saving money by buying a child’s costume, I’m convinced it doesn’t work when you’re popping out all over the place. The guys on the other hand just wanted an excuse to act as a hero for the evening and live out their childhood dream.
A special mention has to go to any couple that decides to go as Harley Quinn and the Joker – I don’t care if you’re his "puddin".
An attempt to rebel against your Catholic school, or did you decide to take inspiration from this year’s Met Gala? Regardless, nothing says inappropriate like dressing up as religious figures and letting their vow of chastity go out the window for one night only.
Unless you’re Rhianna – then go ahead.
Playboy bunny and Hugh Hefner
Let’s be honest – you’ve been dreaming about wearing those bunny ears and tails for years. You know you look good in fishnets but haven’t quite worked out how you’re going to navigate the cobblestones in six inch heels. Whilst Hugh Hefner may be perfect for the fourth-year guys with a thing for freshers, it is also just an excuse to get to wear pyjamas and slippers all night, and oh-so overdone.
The ultimate go-to for a group of girls, whether it’s the Pink Ladies, the Plastics, or the cast of Clueless. After you’ve argued over which one of you gets to wear Sandy’s leather pants or who’s the group Regina, you then have to decide who gets to use each unoriginal movie quote as their Instagram caption.
If you think normal Where’s Wally is hard, imagine it in a dark club with strobe lighting and smoke where in fact at least 15 other people are also dressed as Wally. You found a stripped red t-shirt at the bottom of your wardrobe and couldn’t decide if it would be worse if you tried to make yourself a sailor or Where’s Wally – you definitely should have gone as a sailor.
Controversial political figure
If you dress as something controversial it’s the easiest way to signal to everyone that you want to be talked about. If you don’t mind dividing a crowd, borrow your girlfriend's fake tan and wear that suit your mum forced you to bring to uni.
*Desperately starts searching Pinterest for something less basic*