All the things you say you’ll do for Christmas, but you will never end up doing

Don’t you dare spend £40 on a tree


We are rapidly approaching the Christmas season and everyone is feeling good. You are busy making special plans that are going to make the final push of this semester a lot more enjoyable, and really get you into the Christmas spirit. It is safe to say though that it can be very easy to get carried away and make a lot of plans with a lot of different people, it won’t be long before it turns into one big stress as you struggle to keep up with all the Secret Santas you agreed to participate in.

Here’s a few things that you’ll get very excited about and say that you are going to do, but realistically it will all get too much and you won’t possibly be able to get all of these things done.

Buy a tree

When you suggest this one to your flat mates you will all jump for joy. What could possibly get you into the Christmas spirit more than your own tree? And you know what, I bet you said you were going to get your hands on a REAL one (‘none of that fake shit’). You’ll go through all the motions, you’ll get yourselves so excited for this one and it’s going to really bring you together a flat and will make one hell of an Instagram, but once you look online (after inevitably settling for a fake one) you will soon back off the idea when you’re going to be spending anymore than 20 quid for the tree alone.

Maybe next year though, hey?

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Your uni flat will never look like this, give it up…

Throw a party

OMG so cute! You’ll buy some mince pies, you’ll even contemplate making your own ‘glühwein’ (don’t pronounce it like that, you twat), and stick on a nice playlist of Christmas songs that you’ve found on Spotify and you’ll have a great time. Of course, that is the idea but making it a reality is another thing. You’ll all have deadlines and exams around different times and actually rallying people together will be nothing short of a nightmare. The more likely scenario is that you’ll be sat there, powering through some readings, chomping down a 6-pack of Mr. Kipling mince pies, listening to ‘Fairytale of New York’, washing it all down with some shop bought mulled wine.

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Not quite ‘festive goals’, but as long as you’re having fun…

Have a Secret Santa

Your Facebook group chats are going absolutely WILD. You keep committing with all your different friends and say that you are more than happy get involved with them. It all starts to go a bit pear-shaped though when you are involved with five different ones and they all have a £5 limit on them.

That’s going to really start to add up, especially after you’ve bought your tree, thrown your party and gone to Lapland with your flat. You’ve got to think this through.

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I sense a few chats being ‘muted’

Have a flat Christmas dinner

The Facebook event for this one is made way ahead of time, a real save-the-date affair – it’s going to be a big one! You’re going to all chip in and help each other prepare the food and make the flat look so lovely for your lucky friends who get invited along for a free Christmas dinner. This is a real well thought out operation too, you’ll all know who is buying what and where to get it from and someone will definitely be kind enough to say that they will bring along some Shloer for all to enjoy. Exciting.

However, the days will go by, the excitement will be brewing, but the work will also be piling up.

There’s either going to be one of two things: 1) A disappointing cancellation at the last minute, or, 2) You’ll still have the party, but it will involve a sorry excuse for a take-away, whereby everyone was so excited for the Christmas dinner, that even a Chinese tastes bad. Sorry if you went out and bought a Christmas jumper for the party (as the event undoubtedly said to be ‘the rules’).

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A rare case of the plan pulling through…Well done guys!

Carol Concert

This is by far the most cultured idea that you or your friends will come up with. It will certainly get you into the Christmas spirit, if you had failed to feel it already and it would just be so damn cute. You will either end up going to the pub instead, or just keep bumping into the person you said that you would go with all that time ago and say, “Yes mate, carol service!” and that will be all.

Go to a German Christmas Market

To be fair, this is probably the only thing that you actually will do for Christmas at Uni this year, but they are by far the best thing about Christmas, so that’s perfectly fine. You’ll have settled for tinsel instead of fairy lights, shop-bought glühwein instead of homemade, and your mince pies will have been nothing short of average every time you treated yourself to one, but the markets come along and make everything better and you’ll have a fantastic time with your friends.

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Merry Christmas all.