EUSA plans to build actual safe space

‘Honestly, practical policies have never been our priority’

EUSA have revealed the renovation of Bristo Square will involve the building of an actual safe space.

The building will be a glass cube, which will only be accessible to those designated sufficiently offended after completing an exhaustive test.

The test includes a practical element.

Safe space bristo square

A EUSA spokesperson said: “The test is a formality to make sure that the safe space is being used appropriately.

“It is our number one priority to find out what is offensive to students and then giving it a no-platform policy.”

The safe space has also come under criticism due to the fact it will take up the entirety of Bristo Square with no path through it.

EUSA have defended these criticisms.

The same EUSA spokesperson said: “Walking through Bristo Square may be the quickest way to get from Potterow to Teviot but, honestly, practical policies have never been our priority.

“Any excessive chat or anything else that could disturb those occupying the safe space will not be tolerated.

“Your matriculation card will be retracted if you are deemed to be making a disturbance on more than two occasions.”

Tilly Wannamaker, a fresher English literature student, said: “I particularly like that the safe space is made out of glass.

“I’d like to be able to assess whether anything potentially offensive could be nearby before I make a decision to go outside and resume my studies.”

Check the date.