Being Scottish at Edinburgh uni makes me the minority

An English friend and me, a Scot, are sitting talking, a perfect example of inter-UK relations.

I briefly ask what time he wants to get food at when his eyes light up.

“Fewd!” he mimics me.

She’s not wrong

I sit through another enthralling History of Christianity lecture when I overhear a girl from Lincolnshire say something about a lift in New College.

I respond saying that I didn’t know there was a lift in New College.

“Ah didnae know there wiz a lift in Nyooo College!” she cries back at me in a voice that could be easily mistaken for Fat Bastard from Austin Powers.

I casually mention to a friend that I had been in a restaurant that day and asked for an Irn Bru.

She is totally perplexed: “Irn Bru?! I thought that was something people drank for a laugh.”

It’s a national staple

These are things I never expected to happen to me as I’m from Glasgow. In Scotland. At university in Edinburgh. Y’know, Scotland’s capital city.

I have suddenly realised that I am a minority in my own country.

Not in a UKIP-ish way though.

It’s just a bit fucking weird.

I suppose I first became aware of it when watching the Scotland vs England match earlier this semester where the proud Scottish chants were drowned out by the Englander’s cries of “We are Tories!” and something about St George fucking a dragon.

A perfect example of English and Scot in perfect harmony

Even the guy in full highland dress is from Hampshire and on his way back from reeling practice.

Scotland to outsiders seems to be some sort of bastard child of Trainspotting and a Kevin Bridges stand up routine where everything seems foreign to outsiders.

I started uni at 17, a concept totally alien to most of our friends south of the border.

“Why didn’t you take a gap year?”, they asked confused, somehow thinking that not being able to drink during freshers was reason enough to postpone the start of my higher education.

However, this lack of Caledonian comprehension can lead to outsiders believing anything about this great nation

So I’ll sign off now because I have to practise my bagpipes, before donning my favourite kilt and heading off to uni.

Which is free for me by the way.