A lonely Durham student with mumps wants to start a mumps-only speed dating event

Life in quarantine is lonely

A lonely Hatfield third-year has proposed a mumps-only speed dating event for other mumps infected students, whilst the infection is spreading its way through campus.

The purpose of the event is so that bored, mumps-affected students in quarantine can interact with others without posing a risk to anyone else.

Geography student Genevieve Hull was the first to come up with the event, saying: “Looking for bored singletons in quarantine to set up a mumps speed dating event with. Must attach photo to be considered eligible. Let’s make laughter the second most infectious thing in the room.”

Genevieve has been suffering in quarantine for the last few days, and is looking for something to lighten up her mumps affliction. She told The Durham Tab: “The first day was fevery and bad but since then other than the actual bump being a bit painful I feel fine, which is why being in quarantine is so frustrating.”

Genevieve pre-mump

“I got mine from a friend who had it a week before me. My housemates had a rugby match cancelled because apparently lots of the Aidan’s rugby team have it and have heard of quite of few other who have it.”

But how does one quarantine themselves at uni? Genevieve explains: “So I’m mainly staying my room but when I go into the kitchen and cook etc I wear a scarf over my mouth to try not spread it to my housemates.”

As for her plans for the mumps speed dating event, she says: “I’m incredibly bored and no one will hang out with me because they don’t want mumps, so I thought the only people who would hang out with me are people also with mumps. Sadly anyone I know with mumps was able to go home so I wasn’t able to reach anyone I knew and decided the best way would be to reach out to other students.

“I’ve also been watching Love Is Blind on Netflix in my bored quarantined state and thought what if we did the same thing but with mumps, where you speak to people and don’t know what they look like without the mump, then as you get to know them the mump goes down and you decide whether you like them! Both a dating experiment and curing the boredom of those in quarantine!”

Are you ridden with mumps and like the sound of this? Want to send us your best mumpy pics? Just really sick of having mumps? Get in touch!
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