A Durham student is taking £9,000 worth of yoghurt from their college as reimbursement for the strikes

That’s a LOT of dairy


One Durham student's response to the strikes is a mini dairy revolution: taking £9,000 worth of yoghurts from their college dining hall.

The student, who wishes to remain anonymous, told the Tab Durham that their initial plan was to "establish an illegal underground yoghurt distribution ring, a Silk Road for strawberry yoghurt, a black(berry) market of sorts".

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Striking lecturers blissfully unaware of the yoghurt-hoarder taking a stand

But how does that compensate for lost lecture time? The student told us that their "profit margins from this could in theory compensate for lost contact hours and non-refunded tuition fees" however acknowledged that "the demand for purchasing yoghurts is low, based on the fact that they are distributed for free anyway".

Striking began on the 22nd February 2018, and is set to continue until the end of term, affecting lectures, tutorials and labs, but moreover, exams. According to the student making a stand, "all my exams have been cancelled", which effectively makes a year of fitting in lectures around Klute redundant.

#Durfess2072All my exams are cancelled and the uni won't be paying us back anytime soon, so I'm clawing back my…

Posted by Durfess on Friday, February 23, 2018

Although hoarding all the dairy the dining hall has to offer is not quite the same as having £9,000 sitting nicely in your bank account, as the student points out in the Durfess post "the uni won't be paying us back anytime soon"- if ever. But as long as you've got those Embleton Hall strawberry yoghurts, what more do you really need?

The student then went on to reveal the Vice Chancellor's annual salary of £250,000, which apparently is the "equivalent of roughly 4 million yoghurts". Realising that perhaps this is a rather challenging task for an individual, the student extended the invitation of this dairy accumulation and wrote, "I urge you to join me in my quest".

"My lofty goal of 4 million yoghurts remains out of reach, but my armoury grows more full by the day" the student informed us, showing that perseverance really is key.

#Durfess2090Can Embleton Hall sort out their fucking yogurt lids already?

Posted by Durfess on Friday, February 23, 2018

But, with Embleton Hall yoghurt lids under fire, according to yet another Durfess post asking the question on everybody's minds: "Can Embleton Hall sort out their fucking yoghurt pot lids already?", will the dairy-dealer change their strategy? Could it be the soup next?

So, if you're feeling a bit out of pocket and the prospects for refunds aren't looking too good, why not take a stand alongside this student- after all, yoghurts are good for you, and as they put "Vive la revolution!"

The Tab Durham

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