NEWS COLUMN: WEEK 1

Lots of fire alarms and animals


Multiple fire alarms across the university!

Clare Colony had a colony-wide fire alarm, whilst Girton, Catz and Queens' also had fire alarms. The Porters are certainly making themselves known to the freshers.

Whilst it would be expected that Porters are the experts on correct fire alarm procedure, at Queens' following a 7am(!!!) fire alarm, the Porters managed to lock everyone out of their rooms, resulting in huge numbers of students descending upon the Porter's Lodge. Nightmare.

Clare Porters update!

One of the Clare Porters fell off his bike and broke his leg (reminder that bike safety is key).

More Peterhouse weirdness

The roguest college in Cam clearly intends on upholding its reputation this year as rumours of a cat being set on fire are flying around the den of sin that is the Peterhouse choir. No one knows if the mentioned member of choir was chatting complete shit or an intervention. Updates will follow.

In less harrowing news, some third years convinced some freshers that they are allowed to have a dog in college, a standard prank for fresh.

Emma cat

Despite the Peterhouse third years pranking with animal ownership in college, the Emma cat Seymour is living in a second year house unofficially!

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The beautiful Eliane and Seymour

Newnham are also reported as having acquired a college cat.

King's College interloper

A male was reported as infiltrating King's freshers events and socialising with students. He did so through the medium of Facebook group chats, as well as showing up to actual events. Why anyone would want to turn up to Cambridge Freshers VOLUNTARILY is beyond me, but I hope he had fun!

Badgers at Clare!

BADGER ATTACK!!!! It's all going on at Clare colony at the moment, with reported badger attacks. They deserve it for getting double beds whilst everyone else slums it in a single, ngl.

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The offending badger

The ponding tradition continues at Emma

Ponding, in which four freshers are thrown into Emma pond by second years, continued in strong form this year. I would feel sorry for the freshers but they volunteered for such an event, so that's on them. I hope they enjoyed being ponded.

If you were a fresher who was ponded and would like to write about how on earth you got there, please get in contact with The Cambridge Tab.

Magdelene accommodation drama

The nicest staircase at Magdelene, Benson O, has a bat and spider infestation. Imagine topping the ballot to be greeted by a bat. Bat-shit crazy.

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Photo credits to Eliane Thoma-Stemmet, Beth Kelly and oliviahelenmary