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Super STDs are real – so please use a condom

‘Do you guys need anything? Some snacks? A CONDOM?’

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STDs are evolving – Public Heath England recently warned that there have been two cases of "super" gonorrhoea, a form of the infection which is resistant to the two antibiotics usually used for treatment. Usually gonorrhoea is easily treatable, albeit sometimes unpleasant, so this development may mean it is harder to resolve the infection.

This means, it is more important than ever to use a condom with new, casual or untested partners. However, it is just as difficult to convince some people to use them. So, what is the best thing to say when your partner for the night comes up with an ingenious excuse for not wanting to use a condom?

1) Excuse: “I haven’t got an STD and you don’t either.”

Response: Are you sure? Have you been tested recently? Just because you don’t have obvious symptoms doesn’t mean you don’t have an STD, some infections can have no immediate symptoms at all. Also, some infections aren’t currently tested for men, such as HPV. Are you sure you don’t have an STD?

2) Excuse: “You’re/I’m on birth control though, so you/I won’t get pregnant.” OR “We can’t get pregnant so there’s no need.” OR “I won’t come inside, you won’t get pregnant.”

Response: I do not want a baby nor do I want a festering disease in my genitals, Karen.

3) Excuse: “You can get the morning after pill”

Response: I’m a busy and broke person. I’m not paying £10 for a pill at Boots nor am I waiting at the NHS for hours to get it for free. Not to mention the many, many awful side effects of the pill, including vomiting, dizziness and bleeding.

4) Excuse: “It feels better without one.”

Response: So, you think my safety is less important than your pleasure?

5) Excuse: “I’m too big for a condom”

Response: This is a lie. You would need a penis more than double the average size for this to be true. I don't think your penis is double the average size.

Essentially, there are no good excuses not to use a condom, especially in the face of super gonorrhoea. So, please use a condom.