UCAS Cambridge Starter Pack

This is not a drill. We all knew this was coming. The work, the essays, those people you know only from standing next to in a nightclub queue (and which, by definition already makes them your 'best friend.') We knowingly signed up for this but yet we're still asking ourselves.. Why?

Why do I have no free time anymore? What happened to those brain cells that worked almost adequately? Why does my supervisor never see that the bad points in my essays are clearly ironic and not just reflecting on the extra reading that I didn’t do?

Love this new fiction book my supervisor has set for me this week

So really, why did we all do this to ourselves? Is this reflective of a wider masochistic culture within Cambridge wherein all the students enjoy lengthy periods of trauma? Why did I apply to university in the city of punting, academia and occasional trips to Mainsbury's?

In all honestly, one reason I decided to come to Cambridge was one that is very close to my heart: the lack of hills. Geography was a big part in negating many of my other options: Bath – no. Durham – no. Edinburgh – definitely not! Cambridge is flatter than a passed-out fresher lying on the ground outside Cindies, so I knew that there would be minimal stress on my tiny legs. After all, who wants to have to trek up what feels like the equivalent of K2 just to get to a lecture full of flu-induced freshers?

My French lectures 2017 (Colourised)

But let’s all be honest here. We all chose Cambridge because it really is the ultimate bragging tool in an argument. Even though we dread being asked where we go to university in case the person judges us on all our life decisions, it is something we can all be happy about.

On applying our heads were full of images of frolicking around in fancy gowns and regular invitations to dine with the master in grand halls filled with delicious food. Additionally, with the buildings being as stunning as they are here, imagine all the positive repercussions to my Instagram feed…

Cambridge: a social media addict's dream

But if this was the reason, how come I didn’t choose Oxford? The answer is very simple – the thought of having to go somewhere where the population was made up of actual, normal people and not hordes of students was too frightening to even contemplate. How do I strike up lasting friendships with people who don’t have a similar level of pasta and pesto in their body as I do?

So there you have it, some slightly irrelevant reasons why I chose to come to Cambridge which, also double up as reasons NOT to choose a university. Never did I think I would spend my days looking longingly through the crushes of other people hoping I'd get one. But hey, there's still four more years of my degree to go, so who knows what'll happen?