Now we can finally, definitively reveal THE best bench in Cambridge
If you aren’t excited you should be
I’ve been searching for Cambridge’s Best Bench for a long time.
My first attempt was young, optimistic, naive – written in the third week of my first term, I was easily impressed; selecting benches I would later condemn.
My second was more assured. I had just become a Tab Features editor, and I was certain I had found Cambridge’s Best Bench. Not 4 months into my degree I handed out a 10/10 score.
How I paid for my hubris when the best bench DISAPPEARED. My world was thrown into disarray. I was forced to restart my search.
My third attempt was weary; jaded; bizarre. I had found my best bench. I had lost it. What could I do from there? I indulged in frivolous debates about Jesus College’s horse counted as a bench. I was at my lowest ebb.
My fourth attempt went unwritten.
That was last year. I have since not found it within myself to continue the search as the pressures of university life bore down on me.
After a moment of epiphany and three years hard work, I can reveal the location of Cambridge’s Best Bench.
Are you ready?
Are you sure?
This is a potentially life changing piece of information. I want to make sure you are prepared.
Okay, here goes.
Cambridge’s Best Bench is just….. Here!
No, not in my room, you idiot! I'm saying that Cambridge’s Best Bench is in my heart. And it’s in your heart. It’s in all our hearts.
After three years of searching, I realised what I was looking for was with me all along.
A bench isn’t about a location, or a view, or a level of comfort. It’s about me. How I feel. It’s me, sitting, finding peace, on a bench.
I can do that anywhere. On any bench. In any moment.
All of the benches I have visited were the best bench. I just needed to be the best me. Happy. Content. Enjoying the bench I was sitting on.
So I wish you the best of luck finding your best bench. Even the wobbliest, hardest bench can be the best in Cambridge with the sun shining and someone you love sharing it with you.
Good luck, fellow wanderers,