News Column: Naughty NatScis, moaning Medwards and pedantic Pembroke
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As the end of term looms, students have gradually left their library shells and become free. Others came out of an exam on Friday to find that our government has joined forces with a homophobic, anti-women’s rights party. With just one week until May Week, here’s hoping for more fun antics.
Things apparently got brutal outside the final NatSci exam on Thursday. Instead of being met with the traditional cava spray, it seems Cambridge has descended into the degenerate dregs of Oxford tradition, throwing not only alcohol but whipped cream, cake, silly string and any other food stuffs they so desire to celebrate their friends finishing exams. The proctors (those annoying people who stand outside the exams in fancy gowns meant to scare students) were not best pleased with this, with one student apparently fined £35 for throwing silly string at a friend outside the sports centre.
it seems that the naughty natscis have caused quite the stir amongst colleges. Everyone’s favourite Tab news generator, Pembroke, had an email sent out to them from their senior tutor warning against “Post-exam exuberance”. Aside from the standard warnings, he said that Pembroke had “a truly humbling reputation of caring for others”. Hate to remind you of what happened last term Pembroke, but not entirely sure that is true…
In an effort to inspire young voters, CUSU offered £100 for the winning JCR. Somewhat suspiciously, Amatey’s old college Jesus managed to win the grand prize – nepotism much…?
Living up to the stereotype, Edwards don’t seem to be best impressed by people bringing boys into college during exam term. According to one student, the presence of boys in the library has been a tense subject all term – with many arguing that they are taking up valuable desk space with their manspreading.
What tipped it over the edge and descended into passive aggressive Facebook messages was the fact that, even in a college that isn’t theirs, men still cannot seem to be able to put the bloody toilet seat down.
That’s all for this week – as always, if you have any gossip send it to email@example.com.