Give the people their columnists

It is what you’ve all been dying to know, after all

Cambridge can be a confusing place.

The work is hard, the town is small, and everything is incredibly expensive. But fear not: The Tab has compiled a group of wonderful columnists to guide, rant, and wail with you through the struggles of Cambridge life.

Ethan Dodds, Christ’s

MML student Ethan Dodds is hoping to bring a certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ to his column, mainly because he literally has no idea what he will be writing about. Whether you call him spontaneous or unprepared, the real question is whether Cambridge is prepared for a weekly series of his breakdown-induced rants. Hailing from Durham, Ethan knows a thing or two about living in a bubble of red chinos and truly subpar nightclubs.
When Ethan isn’t getting ‘mortal’ at said clubs, he enjoys listening to terrible 80s music, chatting politics and causing the occasional drama (preferably all simultaneously).

Maxim Hibbs, Queens’

A feisty and energetic Midlander mired in the inevitable existential crisis caused by being neither Northern nor Southern. He’s got a lust for Life (he has an alarmingly extensive collection of Kuda queue jump wristbands) and a fervent love for Taylor Swift.

He’s writing for the Tab to facilitate procrastination and to have some fun before entering the corporate internship meat grinder; so expect a light-hearted and unpredictable column about his numerous weekly struggles.

Robert Shearme (Also known as Agony Aunt Shearme), Trinity 

“Wise”, “witty”, and “insightful”, are just some of the words Robert Shearme knows. If you write in to [email protected], he may even use some of the other words he knows to furnish you with, erm, helpful advice.

Will Hall, Emmanuel 

Will Hall is a 2nd Year at Emmanuel, who has been chosen to write a column for what has been described by critics as his unrivalled “availability”. A keen eye for observation, inventive turn-of-phrase and a sharp wit are just three of the things which make a good columnist. Anyway, back to Will.

He is in a long-term relationship with chocolate, and is afraid of most things. His friends call him seldom. When he’s not trying to be funny in print, he tries to be funny on stage. Maybe in 2017 he’ll take the hint.

Oliver Yeates (Yeates Debates), John’s

On hearing ‘Yeates’ you’ll be thinking one of four things. One, who? Two, sigh. Three, “ha he managed to rhyme his name with Debates”. And four: “if only his surname was punt.” He’s glad to make your acquaintance.

Hope McNulty, Kings

Hope is a second-year Classicist who believes her experience of reading Greek tragedies also correlates incredibly well to live at Cambridge – with all the college family incest, it really is a Greek tragedy. Join for her weekly musings on life.

Play nicely with this lot, they will see you throughout the eight gruelling weeks of Lent.