What your choice of VK says about you
It’s all about the Blue amirite
VKs aren’t the No. 1 student drink for nothing – those bad boys will give you a night to remember. One delicious sip of real fruit juices and no artificial sweeteners at a time.
To some, the flavour doesn’t matter – just as long as it comes with a straw. To others, their choice of VK is a statement – a symbol. Think of it as a sugar-water-horoscope: it can define you.
The only VK which doesn’t need a flavour to describe it, it’s become enough of an icon in its own right that tales of the Blue VK are spread far and wide. There’s something comforting about a drunkenly bobbing sea of Blue VKs on the dance floor.
With that said, the people drinking it are either freshers, or people trying VKs for the first time. You follow that crowd. The Blue VK is as basic, boring, and bad as the person drinking it.
Either that or you’re on a diet, Blue VKs have 1 less calorie than the rest.
You’re the life and soul of the party. You don’t quite understand why the tropical flavour is underrated – if you’re drinking it, surely everyone else should be too?
You’re eager to tear up what you’ll call the “D-floor”, and you’ll probably use phrases like “1 hundy p” and greet your friends with a sassy “honeyyyy” here or there. There’s something about that tropical infusion that brings out your repressed inner flair. Make the most of it – you’ve got a 9am tomorrow.
Apple and Mango (Green):
No one’s quite sure why these are so popular, and I think we should all stop pretending to like them. Choosing the Green VK means you’re likely acidic, in Slytherin, or they ran out of Blues.
The Green VK is just the shitter and less mainstream version of its Blue cousin.
Orange and Passionfruit (Orange):
Tasty, simple, safe. People who drink the orange VK probably do so for the flavour, either that or they just got confused and thought they were buying a Tropical. Fun, outgoing, fierce, and not as common as everyone would like.
Black Cherry (Dark Red):
The most elusive of the VK colours, and for good reason. It’s shit and unwanted. No you’re not mysterious and brooding, you’re proving your taste buds are broken.
You’re clearly the person that turned up too late to the party and all the good colours have gone. Frankly, ordering this flavour makes you so edgy you probably shouldn’t be in the kind of place which sells VKs in the first place. The Dark Cherry VK is as irrelevant as you.
Strawberry and Lime (the lighter Red):
MUCH ENERGY, VERY DANCING. Drinking the lighter Red VK will keep you going all night long. You can’t even pretend to be dark and mysterious – you just want sugar water.
You’re a true child at heart, as the strawberry and lime VK tastes the most candy-like of them all. You’ll probably snap a few pictures of you sticking your red tongue out too.
The Four for £10 VK:
You probably live by Ke$ha’s belief that the party don’t start till you walk in. Only the true party animals go this bold, and the rest of us pity you as you boast your fiscal imprudence to the world.
Rolling in as many VKs as possible is all the social validation you can get, or at least, try to get.
The ‘Double Fisting’ VK:
You’re not quite crazy enough to go all out for the big four, but you’re keen enough to avoid future queues at the bar. You’re fun and ready for a wild one. No one takes you seriously though, because you’re either spilling them over yourself or knocking other people’s VKs out their hands with your elbows.
The Tactical Transportation VK:
So there you have it. A stream of psychoanalysis, just for you to drop your VK on the floor at the end of the night.