Why you should embrace your self delusion

To be completely deluded is the best thing that could ever happen to you.

People continually comment that Cambridge is amazing at crushing your self esteem. However, I’m not so sure. The en masse level of delusion here is actually pointing to an increase in ego size.

In a university of nerds there is a very strange social situation. In the real world you’re looking and acting like a half developed foetus and then suddenly you come to Cambridge and your strutting round like Clooney.

If only he studied HSPS

For some, delusion starts early. After watching Mean Girls at age 13 I learnt the jingle bell rock routine. I learnt it really well. Embarrassingly well. I made my friends learn it too. As in I literally locked them in a room with me until they knew every slap of thigh and wriggle of bum.

This event turned for the worse when I nominated myself and my friends to do the routine in front of my entire school in an assembly. I stood in front of hundreds of people aging from 11- 18 and many horrified teachers while I was wearing a tiny Santa skirt and danced provocatively on stage.

I think my older brother wept in the audience.

Do I regret this now? No. If I could go back would I do it again? Absolutely fucking not; I feel like a child offender just watching the video. I think you can actually see a bit of tissue paper fall out my bra where I had tried to kick start puberty fifteen minutes earlier in the disabled toilet.

Delusion in Cambridge is a serious necessity. Firstly, you really need to back yourself to get in in the first place. Then when you get here always be ready to turn a negative into a positive.

I once wrote an essay I thought was ruddy good. I should have remembered to bring my ass back to reality because I actually don’t think I’ve ever done a great essay. One supervisor wrote on thus mentioned essay: ‘This is vague and confusing.’

I thought it was a compliment. It really wasn’t.

To be honest, she could have been describing my personality, which would have been equally applicable.

Not the most useful feedback…

Delusion is always necessary in a supervision. Your supervisor is often a leading professional in their field. And you’ve read one sodding Wikipedia page. Just attempting to say something with confidence takes an element of delusion.

It allows you to do things that are outside of your comfort zone. To do that play, or throw that dance move in Fez or think being a steward at the Union is the best thing since sliced bread.

Always remember, ignorance isn’t just bliss. It’s apparently necessary for success.