Episode 5: The Gap Between a Date and a Bop

This week, Billy’s feeling puzzled, sad and lonely. Spare a moment to consider his plight.

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Read about last week’s date here

‘I think I love her.’

Billy was pouring his heart out across a skype connection to his mum, dad and five year old sister who were crowded around a computer 62 miles away in Crouch End.

His Dad was pragmatic.

‘Your problem, Billy, is that you don’t know what love is.’

‘And you do?’

‘Hey! I’m right here!’ Billy’s mum waved at him on the screen. His dad smiled at her.

‘I like to think so, yes.’

Maisy was sagacious. ‘Love is….a warm hand on a cold plate.’

‘Well I don’t think that’s true,’ Billy replied.

‘It is the glove for your hand.’

‘Be quiet, Mais.’

‘It is two hands, holding each other.’ Maisy demonstrated with her own in the corner of Billy’s MacBook. ‘Like this.’

‘Why are all your analogies to do with hands?’

‘Ignore him, honey.’ Their Dad turned to Maisy. ‘He’s just stressed and sexually frustrated.’

Maisy nodded sympathetically. ‘Aren’t we all?’

‘It’s just that she kissed me, you know?’ Billy widened his eyes at his camera for emphasis. ‘She didn’t have to and she did. And now – nothing. I messaged her. She read and didn’t reply. I texted her. Nothing. It’s been a week of nothing.’

‘Maybe she just doesn’t like you,’ his mum suggested.

‘Then why did she kiss me?’

‘Maybe she was very drunk.’

‘She wasn’t! She had half a pint.’

‘Maybe she’d quickly downed a lot of alcohol just before the date and it only just kicked in when you were walking home –’

‘Trina, please.’ His dad upped his support. ‘Don’t undermine the lad.’

Thank you. Anyway. I don’t know what I should do. What should I do?’

‘Are you crying and listening to lots of Laura Marling?’ Maisy poked her head back into the screen. ‘That is what you usually do when you are sad.’

‘Go away Maisy!’

‘When are you next going to see her?’

At the bop tonight. But you don’t understand, Dad… when I’m with her I… I just feel…’ Billy gestured with his hands. ‘Why didn’t she text me back? Why did she kiss me?’

‘Well, don’t tell her you love her.’

‘Obviously not,’ Billy raised his eyebrows, before: ‘But I’ll be thinking it.’

‘Just be yourself, Bill.’ His Dad leant into the computer screen, earnest now. ‘She kissed you. She likes you. Be yourself and it’ll all sort itself out.’

‘Thanks, Dad.’

‘Good luck. You’ve got the whole of Crouch End behind you. Over and out.’

13 hours later Billy woke up, alone and freezing on the little ramp leading into Great Court. He had been himself and it hadn’t gone well at all…

To read next week’s episode, click here