Cambridge’s Biggest Name Revealed

Over the last week you have voted in your thousands to determine the Biggest Name in Cambridge. The Tab can now reveal the results, and answer the ultimate question: Who is Cambridge’s Biggest Name?

First, some stats. At the point the results were taken, our Sporcle Quiz had been played over 7,000 times. Although none of you managed to name all 100 BNOCs correctly, around a dozen people scored 90 or higher. You, sirs/madams, have too much time.

Our top 10, revealed below, features 3 Rugby Blues, the dominant BNOC force it would seem, a former Union President (though not the current one), and only one college appearing twice in it – Robinson.

Outside the top 10, some noticeable entries include Charlie Gilmour, who may be the Daily Mail’s favourite Cambridge student but only came 14th on your list, and George Nash, Olympic Medallist, but only the 16th biggest name in Cambridge.

Meanwhile, it looks as though writing for The Tab really does make you a BNOC, despite the fact that our current editorial team were excluded from the running. Of the top 5, 4 have written regularly for us at some point.

But enough with the stats and trends, let’s move on to what you came here for. The Top 10 Cambridge BNOCs:

10. Ros Old (Robinson, CUSU President)

As President of CUSU, Old probably has the greatest opportunity for exposure out of all our BNOCs. However, it has been suggested that she is more interested in spending her time doing things for the benefit of the students than attempting to win popularity contests – a rookie error. Still, for CUSU to make the top 10 of any Tab poll is pretty impressive, and their relevance is surely no longer in doubt.

9. Hugo Kelly (John’s, Rugby Blue)

A Blues rugby player who keeps up his fitness by pursuing lacrosse girls. Sometimes referred to as a “wucking flanker” this John’s second year has had a stellar term, on and off the sports field, and is set to ask some big questions of Oxford in this year’s Varsity Match.

8. Chessie Ritchie (Murray Edwards, Lacrosse Blue)

This bodacious blonde Blues lacrosse player is a BNOC on the field and in the clubs. A Murray Edwards second year who regularly appears in Cindies and Life, and is generally swamped by admirers.

7. Effie Stoodley (Clare, Drinking Societies)

If the name sounds familiar, you’ve probably swapped with her. Head honcho of inter-collegiate drinking society, the Misfits, Effie can often be found in the clubs of Cambridge. And when she’s not busy knowing everyone ever, she’ll be hard at work pulling the strings behind the scenes as this year’s Clare May Ball president.

6. Sophie Smith (Robinson,  Drinking Societies)

While some have questioned whether her position in the top 10 may be more down to her sharing a surname with the number 3 on our list than her own personal notoriety, we completely reject that notion. A big name in her own right, Sophie can often be seen doing…well we’re not really sure, but we know she’s a BNOC. Sophie, modest as ever, told The Tab: “who knew having such a generic surname would get me so far in life!”

5. Hugo Cobb (Magdalene, Rugby Blue)

A former Tab columnist, Cobb is a loosehead prop with a heart of Gold, who has won both scrums and hearts in his time as a Light Blue. Popular with the ladies and a highly-rated lad, there was never much doubt that Hugo would make our top 10. A History of Art student who has calves too big for his skinny jeans, his only disapointment will be to have finished below another Rugby Blue.

4. Tom Rasmussen (Queens’, CUTV)

Another Tab veteran, Tom was fashion editor last year with enormous success. Now running CUTV, while occasionally producing shoots for a once popular magazine in Cambridge, Tom is undoubtedly a BNOC. Described by one Tab reader as ‘the only nice guy on this list’, Tom can be seen around Cambridge filming, doing shoots and generally looking fabulous. In true nice guy form, he told The Tab that he doesn’t think he deserves acclaim any more than anyone else: “I’m aware I must sound like a total loser, but I say congrats to anyone who does anything at all in Cambridge. It’s hard feckin’ work!”

3. Will Smith (Girton, Rugby Blue) 

The names says it all. And what the name doesn’t say, his most recent Tab article does. Will ‘better than Jesus’ Smith, many’s favourite to be crowned number 1 BNOC, is our ultimate Rugby Lad.

2. Katie Lam (Trinity, Union)

Outperforming another former Union President (placed 11th) and the current one (placed 15th), Katie’s high ranking shows how important the Union still is to Cambridge BNOC life. She told The Tab, “This is hilarious, I think it’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to me in Cambridge… I’m not sure what to say or whether I’m more proud or embarrassed!”

1. Jonathan Zemlik (Corpus, CUCA) 

If there’s one sure-fire way to become a BNOC, it’s to get known early on. Zemlik wrote a Tab column in his very first term, has been heavily involved in the notorious CUCA, and regularly speaks at the Union. If there were ever a textbook written for how to become a BNOC, this would be the path to follow.

Speaking to The Tab, Zemlik said: “I’m really blown away, I feel really honoured. I felt honoured just being on the list, some of the most capable people I know are on that list such as Nick Crawford, Katie Lam and George Bangham, as well as some good friends. ”

He cited his ease of recognition on the Sporcle quiz as a possible help, “as Corpus is so small and CUCA is infamous” and suggested that “some credit has to be given to my organised mates at Newnham House who will somehow be behind this”.

He also backed the competition’s validity: “For the people who say that this is silly, I have to agree – it’s mental but it’s just a bit of fun and all is fair in life & banter.”

The results in full (click to enlarge):