Trinity’s Train Rolls On Amidst Pembroke Chaos

First and Third once again showed complete dominance at Saturday’s Pembroke Regatta, sweeping the prizes for the M1, M2 and W1 divisions.

In the 1.1k side-by-side knockout competition, their imperious M1, once again in the absence of Queens’ and Downing, brushed past the woeful Christ’s, the newly-competitive Robinson and the technical wizardry of Black Prince (FaT’s own alumni boat), before dispatching Caius in stereotypically clinical fashion to take the title.

FaT W1, meanwhile, saw off challenges from Corpus, Murray Edwards and Clare – who had actually been entered into the right competition on this occasion – before reasserting their position as quickest on the Cam with victory over Christ’s in the final.

FaT M1 racing to victory. Photo: Tim Sherrington

The M2 division saw FaT pip hosts Pembroke, while Downing W2, stroked by Soustons celebrity Zara Goozee, managed to spoil FaT’s party, narrowly edging them out in the final.

The rather disparagingly-named “Men’s Lower Division” was won by Pembroke M3, finally giving the hosts something to shout about.

The rowing powerhouses of Newnham and Sidney Sussex obviously decided they couldn’t be bothered to contest the final of the Women’s Lower Division, with its grand total of six entrants; that, or whoever was supposed to be putting the results up on the website decided it wasn’t worth the trouble.

Finalists Caius M1. Photo: Tim Sherrington

The regatta however, successful as it was, was marred by administrative gaffes reminiscent of Newnham Short Courses gone-by.

Crews were asked to marshal up to an hour before racing, but were then forced to sit in the freezing weather listening to the marshals’ radios crackle with the sound of utter confusion.

One conversation progressed as follows:

Marshall 1: “Where are Caius alumni?”

Marshall 2: “They’re not coming.”

(LONG PAUSE)

Marshall 1: “We’ve been waiting for them for twenty minutes.”

(ANOTHER PAUSE)

Marshall 2: “I, er, radioed it through about half an hour ago…didn’t you hear me?”

Marshall 1: (to increasingly cold and grumpy crews) “RIGHT, time to push-off everyone…”

Ex-Jesus Captain and Legend of the Cam Alexis Tran-Viet, back by popular demand, said only:

“This is bulls**t. In Germany, this would not happen.”

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