UoB to start testing students for Ketamine during exam season

The new policy will be introduced after Easter


In an attempt to reduce the drug consumption at Bristol, the University will be testing students for Ketamine during exam season.

Students will receive a text notification from the Student Health Service, asking them to book an appointment within a 48 hr period. During the appointment, students will receive a swab test for the drug.

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The results from the drug tests are designed to give the University an idea of how widespread the use of Ketamine is with Bristol students.

Students have been expressing their concerns about the new policy, with one History student telling the Tab: "I'm thinking of bleaching my keys just before the swab — got to cover all bases."

However, the University assures that the new policy is aimed to tackle Bristol's druggy reputation. This will be kickstarted with today's event at Bristol Students' Union, The War on Drugs, discussing the issue of substance abuse in the city.

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Bristol University has decided to lead this initiative after seeing that Bristol has recently been named the cocaine capital of Europe.

Speaking about the new policy, another Bristol student told The Bristol Tab: "It's like the University don't even want me to go to Lakota anymore. I just feel sorry for the Badock students, the end of 'K-Dock' is upon us".

Note: April Fools