10 things I learnt moving into a second year house at Bristol Uni

Beware of the slugs

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Starting second year is daunting enough without the added pressure of suddenly having to fend for yourself in the adult world. If you, like me, were in catered halls in Stokey B for first year, which let’s face it was basically boarding school, moving to Redland in September was both exciting and terrifying.

However, once the novelty of waking up surrounded by your mates wears off (precisely, by the Monday morning after Tokyo World) the cold hard realities sink in. Here are ten things I have learnt during my first two weeks back in Bristol.

1. Private landlords are full of sh*t and nothing in the house works when your first move in

Literally nothing. Our kitchen taps still don’t turn on if someone is using the only working shower.

2. Bin day is as stressful as it is disgusting, especially if you hosted pres that week

On the bright side, when the whole street is knee deep in rubbish on a Thursday night it’s a great opportunity to meet the neighbours.

3. Inheriting a cat from the previous tenants is all fun and games until it brings a live mouse into your bedroom at 3am.

It is hard enough keeping yourself alive let alone another living creature.

4. There is always one really really sh*t bedroom, probably in a basement, and whichever unfortunate soul lives in there will milk this fact for all its worth

Fair play you essentially live in a dungeon but frankly I don’t see what relevance that has to claiming first shower everyday…

5. Beware of the slugs. Enough said

6. There is a stressful, overflowing folder of bills and angry letters which floats around the kitchen, and no one really knows what to do with it

I am still yet to meet a house which has paid for a TV licence.

7. A time comes when you have to accept that pesto pasta is not an acceptable meal for lunch AND dinner three days in a row

8. Neighbours are aggy af. Chill out and stop passive aggressively patronising us

9. The only thing worse than a passive aggressive neighbour? A passive aggressive vegan. I don’t care how many times you say it, tofu doesn’t taste like chicken

Living in perpetual fear of accidentally using a non-meat pan really takes the fun out of a fry up.

10. That being said, watch out for flying rocks. Apparently noise complaints have taken a hostile turn in Redland…

What began as a cheerful BBQ at our house turned into a near death experience when the people across the railway tracks started hurling these at us.
Casualty toll: 1 cracked window, 1 ruined BBQ and 1 severely disgruntled cat.