You’re all wrong – the best subject at university is undoubtedly Geography

Don’t believe everything you read

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When you tell someone that you study Geography, there are literally only two things you will hear.

If you’re lucky, you’ll experience scenario A, in which your conversation falls off a cliff as your new acquaintance scrambles for an appropriate response to your bombshell of tedium. "Oh… cool yeah, erm I studied it at GCSE!" is the go-to reply. But despite the platitudes, escape plans are being hatched and friendships are over before they have even begun.

This however is the good option. Much worse is scenario B: the possibility that your subject will unleash a tirade of mockery from someone you've only just met. "You must be good at colouring in then mate!", "Oh you like rocks, do you pal?", "Didn’t fancy studying a REAL subject then chum???" With each shot fired, your spirit is crushed just a little more and you wonder if your new found knowledge of mountains justifies the literal mountain of debt that you are amassing.

£27,000 and I can't even name all these countries smdh

But you don’t need to be a genius to know that the general public can sometimes get things spectacularly wrong. And spoiler alert: this is one of those cases. It’s time then, for the truth to come out: Geography is the best course at uni and there is nothing you can do about it.

Let’s break this down. For one reason, the naysayers are wrong because they’re right: Geography (kind of) isn’t a real subject. By which, I mean there’s no one thing that we study, unlike some of you vocational folks out there *cough* medics. But this is undeniably a positive thing. Because the point of doing a one-skill course like computer science is that you get really good at it. And let’s face it guys, most of us can get by at uni, but we’re no experts. So, since there is no great clamour for merely average architects, vets and dentists, the value of becoming one is, well, limited.

It makes way more sense then, to try a bunch of things. If you’re going to be mediocre, why not be mediocre at everything, RIGHT?? This is where Geography comes into its own. Your rock jokes are better directed at the geologists because we literally do a bit of everything. I can encounter the science of ocean biogeochemistry, dwell on the democratising effect of national development, peruse the pages of Foucault’s Discipline and Punish and still have time for some colouring in before lunch.

This guy gets it.

And it’s for the same reason that Geography attracts the soundest bunch of people on almost every campus. By virtue of the fact that our subject is a mongrel mish-mash (albeit an elite and intellectual one), you don’t get the obnoxious careerists who’d strangle their own parents if it guaranteed a grad job at JP Morgan. Nor do you get insular hermits who "can’t talk right now because I’ve got to submit this before June". Most geographers are just decent people with a well-rounded world-view, some of whom just happen to know the capital of Togo (it’s Lomé by the way).

And if for some reason you don’t warm to your merry band of brothers, no bother: the awkward run-ins are likely to be limited to a mere eight contact hours per week, just sufficient to get you up in the morning but not enough to leave you bed-bound come 9 o’clock at night.

What of career prospects you ask? Well global warming is A Thing, and all things need people. So as we hurtle towards a climatic apocalypse and the call goes out for those who have a vague idea of what might be going on, you can rely on geographers to answer humanity’s call with a typically non-descript "Yeah alright then". I don’t mean to exaggerate guys, but we are LITERALLY going to save the world. Take that, philosophy.

Wouldn't get this in law now, would you?

Picture then, the following scene. At some godawful Redland house party, you’ve encountered an upstanding citizen who reveals themselves to be a geographer. Accounting and Finance second year Ben has just called Geography a "mickey mouse" subject and glanced over at that girl he likes from halls to see if she’s impressed (she’s not).

It’s now time to decide: do you ally yourself with the intellectually curious, worldly and approachable individual in front of you, or the closed minded, overcompensating bonehead whose mum still lays out his clothes in the morning?

There’s only one choice really. Choose interesting conversations. Choose your future. Choose good colouring in. Choose Geography.