As Bristruths hits 5000 likes, here are the best ones submitted this term

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Since launching a mere three months ago, Bristruths has become something of a Bristol institution.

With its mix of angry rants, saucy gossip, resurrection of memes and subject in jokes, the anonymous confessions page run by Wills Meme-orial has come to dominate Facebook pages across the West Country from Stoke Bishop to Stokes Croft.

Having hit 5000 likes last week and with some 4500 Bristruths having been posted already, we thought it was the perfect time to trawl through the old submissions to find you the weirdest and the most wonderful…

Topical Bristruths

#Bristruth1055 Dear chh catering staff, we stole some dinner trays, and made good use of them in the snow, thx for not noticing

#Bristruth1247 Over half of Wills went to Waitrose to stock up on humous, cheese and port in the snow, just in case they ran out…

#Bristruth1737 Shoutout to the fella from wills who stuck his piece in a snowman and claimed he lost his virginity

#Bristruth1894 Can we all agree that the most hated person in Bristol is that Gravity bouncer?

Political Bristruths

#Bristruth2500 Daddy owns a chalet, At school I was a’boardin, I drink champagne, snort coke all night, And then I vote for Corbyn

#Bristruth3295 anyone else think the SU should subsidize cheese?

#Bristruth3427 Petition for St Michaels hill to have an escalator fitted – time to get with the times!

#Bristruth1702 I'm hoping to leave the single market before the UK does

Bristruths Debates

#Bristruth1427 Why are 60% of people at OMG on a Wednesday straight? Can't the gays just have one thing!

#Bristruth1657 is it okay to pee in the shower? let’s settle this: sad reacts no, angry reacts yes

#Bristruth2378 What's the difference between a park bench and a UWE grad? A park bench can support a family

Most Annoying Things About UoB
3rd Place: Cantocks Steps (just why have steps like that)
2nd Place: People walking slowly in front of you
1st Place: Blue Man Saying "You want a part-time job"

Sexual Bristruths

#Bristruth1513 Made a Tinder account for our block's henry hoover. It's honestly depressing how successful he is, it's getting out of hand!

#Bristruth2176 Was sucking dick the other night when his mum calls. Mouths at me to 'keep going' while he's talking to her. I did. Am I going to hell now?

#Bristruth2203 I won’t stop until I’ve had the whole team, hmu rugby boys, I want you.

#Bristruth3523 There is an official Lizard Lounge Bristol playlist on Spotify. You're welcome.

Angsty Bristruths

#Bristruth1862 How do you survive the Cori Tap without waking up at 8am next to a bucket of mash potato sick and a night of regrets? Asking for a friend x

#Bristruth2435 The fact that there's no Greggs on the triangle is lowkey the worst thing about Bristol

#Bristruth2455 Me, in private reading in WMB: I can't go on. I'd rather die than read another word of land law.

Me, to anyone who will listen: Law is the defining feature of our past and future global stability. Lord Denning is my great-great grandfather. I can recite the 1968 Theft Act with perfect precision when anyone tries to trick the self scanners in Sainsbury's. The UBLC is my lord and saviour. I named my pet after the snail from Donny and Steve. If my future mother in law isn't lady Hale she's already a disappointment to me. I prefer commercial awareness chats to any sesh going

#Bristruth3427 Petition for St Michaels hill to have an escalator fitted – time to get with the times!