How one student’s almost unbelievable Tinder date ended up with a girl trapped in a window, collecting her own poo
They went on a second date despite the fiasco
Liam Smyth probably thought he'd hit the jackpot on his last Tinder date.
Following a cheeky Nandos dinner and Louis Theroux Netflix sesh, the two were curled up together when his date asked to use the toilet.
But she returned with a panicked look in her eye. "I went for a poo in your toilet and it would not flush. I don't know why I did this, but I panicked. I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window", she told Liam, a Bristol postgraduate.
The girl thought the number two was out of her life, but actually, it was stuck in-between two windows. Somehow, this lead to the girl getting trapped mid-poo retrieval, resulting in the emergency services being called out to release her.
After Liam's date had originally returned after throwing the poo out of the window and told him what had happened, Liam chivalrously offered to go outside, "bag up the offending poo in the garden, bin it, and pretend the whole sorry affair had never happened", he told The Bristol Post.
Unfortunately, owing to the design of the house, the toilet window did not in fact open to the garden, but instead into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, separated from the outside world by another (non-opening) double glazed window.
Whilst Liam sought to find a hammer to break the window, his date "had other ideas". An amateur gymnast, she was convinced she could reach into the window and pull the poo out. Unfortunately she couldn't reach.
You may think you've had bad dates, but Liam Smyth's Tinder date puts everyone else's stories to shame. Although, to be fair, the date wasn… pic.twitter.com/W0SLYYGgu3
— Nick de Klerk (@nfdeklerk) September 5, 2017
A boost up from Liam got her into the window, and climbing in head first after her own faeces, bagged it up and passed it out and into the toilet.
Unfortunately Liam's beau was stuck fast. Try as they might, Liam could not remove her from the window – she remained hanging upside down in the gap.
He added: "She had been upside down in the window for around 15 minutes at this point, and I was starting to grow concerned for her health. I called the fire brigade."
Bristol's finest arrived quickly and soon had her free. Yet sadly, in the process they had to destroy the window, forcing Liam to crowdfund on a GoFundMe page for a replacement.
"I've been quoted north of £300 to replace the window. As a postgraduate student, that is a significant chunk of my monthly budget (in fact, that is my monthly budget)", he said.
I suddenly hate having this name… https://t.co/we17xKLfZU
— Liam Smyth (@liam_smyth) September 5, 2017
There is a happy ending to all this melodrama, however. Donations have poured in from around the globe, raising £1,825 as of midday on Wednesday.
According to Liam: "We have far exceeded the target, and had a few offers to have the window replaced, free of charge. 100 per cent of the money raised will be going to charity. I'm astounded by the response to this".
The money will be split between The Firefighter's Charity and Toilet Twinning, a charity building and maintaining flushing toilets in the developing world.
As for Liam's date? "We did go and meet for a drink to discuss setting up the crowdfunder", he commented.
“She’s a lovely girl – I’m not sure what’s going to happen – I’m really busy with my dissertation at the moment but I’d certainly be open to seeing her again.”
Fingers crossed she doesn't dump him.