What not to wear this Halloween
Want to avoid losing friends this Halloween? Take note.
The spookiest day of the year is nearly upon us. For uni students throughout Bristol that means that costume preparation has almost certainly already begun.
On a day when everyone is out and you have to look sexy and scary, its sometimes hard to find the right choice.
Luckily, were here to help you avoid the many pitfalls involved in Halloween costume selection.
Avoid all of the following…
Absolutely anything from Ann Summers
Thinking of browsing the Ann Summers fancy dress section for your costume this year?
Fancy yourself as a sexy nurse? Sexy Policeman? Schoolgirl? Commando? Don’t even think about it.
It’ll cost you more than the £35 price tag – it’ll cost you your dignity and reputation.
Classic basic white girl costumes
Basically any variation on a Cat/Mouse/Bunny. Is it cute? Yes.
Have we seen it a trillion times before? Yes, yes, yes.
Here in Bristol we’re living in a PC age of censorship. If the Bristol cheerleaders can’t have a chav themed social then no, you cannot wear a bindi.
Remember when Harry Styles donned a Native American headpiece on Instagram? Just a heads up – if he can’t get away with it neither can you.
The morally abhorrent/politically offensive
Back in 2005 Prince harry’s nazi costume almost cost him his place as the UK’s favourite ginger. Royal or pleb, don’t let one poor decision this Halloween rob you of your social standing.
Likewise, if you’re thinking of masquerading as anyone who died this year- Muhammad Ali, Bowie? – it’s probably too soon.
Anything too goofy
Although its important to not look like you’re trying too hard, you don’t want to go full on ‘Georgia from Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging arriving at the party dressed as an olive’.
Being dressed as a crab will be funny for the first hour. But soon things will become tiresome.
It’ll be hard to hold a beer when you have pincer claws for hands, that fit boy from the other flat seemed like he was into you but now you’re dressed as a crustacean.
At least you can walk sideways into people and make fish puns.
Seriously, no cultural appropriation
Yes I know its funny and I know its ridiculous you cant wear a sombrero but is it worth all the hate you will get?
Criticisms will come flying at you on every street of Bristol and soon all the amusement you got from pissing off Debra from down the hallway will dissipate.