Cocktails are way better than a night out

Maybe it’s just because I’m a bitter Third Year who doesn’t have the time to go out on the lash every week night, or maybe it’s because I cringe at all the freshers making the same mistakes I did (shots of Sambuca will definitely make you sick) but for me, going for cocktails is the new night out and here’s why:

No hangover, no problem

Cocktails are to be enjoyed, savoured and appreciated. There’ll be none of those deadly shots unless they’re delightfully shaken into a cocktail. Waking up never felt so good. Wave goodbye to headaches and spewing at the crack of dawn, hangovers are so last year.

You can smile knowing there’ll be nothing to fear tomorrow morning

One of your five-a-day

The fruity infusions will totally dose you up on vitamins. Freshers flu strikes every year so what better way to fulfil doctors’ orders than to knock back the cocktails like they’re Calpol? Also Vodka is definitely made from potatoes.  That’s enough fruit and veg to make your mum proud.

Like a fruit bowl

They make the best Instagram post

Forget the embarrassment of waking up to last nights awful drunken Snapchat story uploaded at 2am, or the blurry pictures of you and your pals necking shots at the bar which you really thought were flattering. Cocktails are a work of art; they’re supposed to be hung on your Facebook wall and admired.

Insta ready

The ultimate VIP experience

Long gone are the days of queuing a mile long in sub-zero temperatures to be allowed access into a dark and dingy nightclub. Cocktail bars welcome you to breeze on in. Never mind scrambling at the bar to get served, leisurely find a window seat before gracing the cocktail menu, time will wait for you.

Cocktail O’clock

Night outs are limited only to the night. Cocktails can be drunk at any time of the day. In fact, the earlier you go for cocktails, the classier you’ll appear. There’s no shame in Prosecco for breakfast, or a Mojito for lunch. Take pride in your lifestyle and lap up every last drop of it.

They keep out the riff raff

Under 18’s only get into nightclubs because they spend hours fake tanning and hair spraying every last hope of getting past the bouncers. Cocktail bars welcome the ‘smasual’ dresser. If you’re under 18, your excessive efforts will be spotted a mile off which means the rest of us can enjoy a drink in peace.

Conversations are a thing

All too many times I’ve ordered a drink at the bar and received a questionable combination of drinks I certainly didn’t ask for. Complaining isn’t even an option because the bartender probably wouldn’t understand that either. Nightclubs are not for talking, you’ll spend the whole night shouting “WHAT?” at your friends and bust your voice box in the process. Cocktail bars are much more sophisticated. Say what you like nightclubbers, but we probably can’t hear you.

A cocktail night will NOT break the bank

Yeah, cocktails will cost around £10 but so will 5 Jägerbombs, and which tastes better? Yep. Thought so.