Meet Daniel James, BNOC

You can guess the obvious benefits of being a Big Name On Campus, but you may not know the many responsibilities that come with it.

To become a BNOC you need game, muscles and good chat.

This man, Daniel James, has got it all.

He balances his campus fame with a job as Starbucks’ star barista, as well as keeping his girlfriend satisfied.

The alpha male “said”: “If you don’t know who I am, you aren’t worth knowing.

“I’m kind of a big deal.”

The nurturing, close family bonds helped solidify the destiny of DJW from an early age.

He followed in his father’s shoes by obtaining a coaching qualification – some might say this could even be extended to a general life coach.

Dan was considered a role model from an early age by his younger brother, Callum.

Callum told The Tab: “Since birth I’ve aspired to match the greatness of my older sibling, yet fail due to his sheer awesomeness.

“I still strive towards this goal, and with the example set by him, my idol, hopefully one day it’ll become a reality.

“But for now I can but admire his greatness.”

His influence doesn’t stop there, either.

Playing rugby, the manliest of sports, for a regional team means this guy has mates across the country.

Zach Mayne, close pal, said: “Everyone talks about DJW for 60 per cent of their time.”

To reach BNOC status you must maintain a good work ethic, something Dan is renowned for.

Dan puts a lot of time into his studies, some even say “he takes learning as serious as lifting”.

Scott Carter, SU Supervisor, said: “It is a pleasure, nay a privilege, to supervise Daniel James. Sometimes I feel like he is the boss.”

Not surprisingly, the alpha male encourages his friends to wise up on health and nutrition in order to promote the ultimate lifestyle.

The word on the street is the paleo regime is the way forward. Always remember, “bulkin’ not sulkin”.

But it’s not all fun and games being Mr Popular, it has its down sides too.

Going to lectures becomes a struggle as the battle through the jungle of students fighting for your time begins.

Even shopping in town takes longer than usual with people constantly recognising him.

Gabby Flower, Dan’s lucky girlfriend, knows how hard it is to fight for this man’s attention.

She said: “Going out with not just any BNOC, but the very biggest BNOC, can be very stressful.

“Fan girls are always following him around and asking for signatures, it gets really tiring.

“But it’s something I have to put up with if I want to date such a big deal.”

Dan, who may or may not be releasing a 2015 naked calendar, had some final words: “Official news from my part here.

“If you don’t know me or at least know I’m the biggest deal in Aber by the end of this semester, the University have decided to deport you.

“Last chance to be friends with the greatest guy on Earth.”

If you want a shot at being everyone’s biggest pal and the best BNOC around, you must remember to:

• Refer to yourself in third person

• Eat clean to stay mean

• Have big hair, there’s a direct correlation

But let’s face it, no one can replace DJW.