From soufflés to sliders, here’s every boujie Gail’s item as a Russell Group uni

Durham is giving huge Salmon & Avocado Yoghurt Sandwich vibes

3 hours ago

As the official home of gentrification, Gail’s is best known for supplying expensive pastries to the most middle-class people in its wake. It’s also well known for refusing to extend north of Manchester, so for all my proper northern babes out there – sorry, you didn’t make the cut.

Still riding on the wings of the hot girl movement, toward iced coffees and expensive pastries, Gail’s is having her moment. Consider her a step up from Pret, it’s somewhere you can have your classiest brunch catch-up with the girls.

In the spirit of the much beloved “soup or sandwich”, I know you’re all dying to know which Gail’s item your Russell Group uni is. Unfortunately, we all know that a Gail’s item would only go to a Redbrick university – I don’t make the rules.

University of Birmingham – Sausage Roll

There’s nothing much to it, is there? You can call it a simple classic but in reality, it’s pretty boring. Faced with the best options in the world, Uni of Birmingham students will always go for the obvious choice – they don’t know any better.

University of Bristol – Spelt, Cauliflower & Ferments Salad

Chances of this tasting good are pretty slim, but it feels organic and you know UOB students will go for the weirdest option. It’ll give them a good opportunity to preach about eating raw- their dad goes hunting semi-regularly.

University of Cambridge – Dried Sour Cherries & Dark Chocolate Scone

A classically English cake, with just enough flair to make it seem like they’re experimenting. They aren’t. University of Cambridge would easily be this posh baked good. Served with tea and cream, obviously.

University of Durham – Mini Smoked Salmon & Avocado Yoghurt Sandwich

Durham wants to be posh so desperately, and while we know Gail’s wouldn’t be caught dead north of Manchester, the spirit of boarding school lives on in the desire for tiny hors d’oeuvres everywhere they go.

University of Edinburgh – Oat, Pecan & Cranberry Cookie

Your nan would love one of these, it’s a proper English biscuit. Funnily enough, so are most Edinburgh students – despite being across the border. The University of Edinburgh is also pretty posh, but still loveable – so it would definitely be this over the top cookie.

University of Exeter – Soho Bun

Is it a fancy brioche? Absolutely. Much like most Exeter University, it’s simply a posh name and some pretty good marketing. They’re still delicious, and make you feel a bit posher for buying one.

King’s College – Fluffy Soufflé Egg, Spinach & Cheddar Slider

If you’re asking, “what the hell is a soufflé egg?” We don’t know either. King’s College students also probably don’t know, but they’ll absolutely pretend they do because they’re so well travelled and educated. King’s College London is also a pretty fancy name, much like the name of this slider.

University of Lincoln – Honey Cake

No notes. Comforting, wholesome and half the price of everything else. Has anyone ever had anything bad to say about Lincoln?

University of Liverpool – Parmesan Chicken

Aside from the obvious connotations, this one just makes sense. Much like Liverpool, it’s simple and well-made. Perfect antidote to a hangover, which you’ll absolutely need after one night partying with Liverpool students.

University of Manchester – Almond Croissant

She absolutely thinks she’s trendier than she is, and even though they might live in Fallowfield – nothing will stop her from only shopping in the “coolest” part of town. I’m looking at you Northern Quarter girls. UOM girls run off coffee and pastry, mostly because they only learnt to cook pasta in first year.

University of Newcastle – Pain Au Chocolat

It’s a classic for a reason, dependable and no-nonsense. It would also be virtually impossible to stomach anything with much more flavour after a night of necking trebs and getting off with anyone in the vicinity.

University of Oxford – Squash & Sage Slice

You might be thinking this Gail’s item pairing to this Russell Group uni is rogue – but hear me out. The University of Oxford is giving major squash vibes. Slightly inferior to Cambridge, These flavours definitely remind them of home (counties) and family dinners (in the banquet hall). Uni of Oxford students were raised on seasonal eating, so god forbid they pick one up before Autumn.

UCL – Mini Flourless Chocolate Cake

The absolute firsts to hop on the free from hype, London students live and breathe trends. They might even be convinced they started them. That’s why University College London is obviously the Mini Flourless Chocolate Cake. Whether or not it tastes good is tbc, but accompanied with a matcha latte you know she’s THE it girl.

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