Ranking all the Indiana Jones video games by how much you want to get crushed by a boulder

LEGO games reign supreme, I don’t make the rules

4 months ago

The newest trailer for Indiana Jones and the Great Circle has been released, and it looks like it’s going to be a cracker of a video game. So of course the only logical thing to do is take a trip back in time and do a ranking of each Indiana Jones video game.

This list is entirely based on my personal experiences and childhood and minor spoiler alert, if you don’t like the LEGO series you should probably stop reading now. And just to spice it up I’m going to rank them by how much playing them made me want to get crushed by a boulder, so enjoy that aspect of it too.

I’m really leaning into the Indiana Jones vibes here.

6. Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine

Via LucasArts

Sadly, there always has to be a game that ranks last and this one is it. Released in 1999 the game is set at the start of the Cold War, with the CIA recruiting Indiana to find out what the Soviets are up to.

Sadly, the Indiana Jones video game features bad controls, clunky puzzles and lacklustre dialogue, ranking it in sixth place. If a boulder crushed me whilst I was playing this game I’d be thankful honestly.

5. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Via LucasArts

This was one of LucasArts’ earliest point-and-click adventures, designed by none other than Ron Gilbert who also helped to create the Escape from Monkey series which is incredible. Whilst the game is good there are better point-and-click Indiana Jones video games, so I’m ranking this one in fifth place.

Bonus points for its Indy Quotient system where players can earn extra points in the game by finding unique solutions to the puzzles. If a boulder was hurtling towards me I would make a slight attempt to get out of the way, but nothing too strenuous.

4. Indiana Jones and the Great Circle

Via Bethesda

Indiana Jones and the Great Circle is the latest Indiana Jones video game to be announced, and whilst it’s not releasing until later this year it already looks insanely fun, ranking it fourth overall.

Not only do the graphics look insane but the combination of first and third-person plus fun whip physics are already setting this up to be one of the best Indiana Jones games to date. At this point, it’s in Bethesda’s hands.

If a boulder was coming at me down a narrow chasm I’d absolutely try to keep running so I could at the very least get to see early leaked gameplay. Which in this economy means I’d probably only have to keep running for a few minutes after the initial trailer release.

3. Indiana Jones and the Emperor’s Tomb

Via LucasArts

This fun third-person Indiana Jones video game is definitely the best in this particular genre, and you can’t beat that early 2000’s game style ranking this in the top three. It really makes you feel like you are Indiana Jones, and the game still holds up over 20 years later. Expect satisfying gun gameplay, brawling, and a real sense of adventure.

If a boulder was careening towards me and impending death was near I would emulate the vibes of the game itself and just shoot it with a shotgun so I could keep playing.

2. Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis

Via LucasArts

I really am a sucker for a good point-and-click adventure game, and this video game is 100 per cent the best Indiana Jones one out there, very justifiably earning it a second-place ranking.

The art style still looks amazing now, the set design is gorgeous and it even has a feature called iMUSE that creates a musical score based on your movements.

This game makes me want to set up an anti-boulder forcefield around myself. Nobody can interrupt me playing this game, not even a classic Indiana Jones-style boulder.

1. LEGO Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures

Via LucasArts

I might be 23 but that doesn’t mean I’m not still a child at heart. Yes, I know LEGO is a massive capitalist corporation but I can’t help it that every single one of its video games is a banger. I stand by the fact that the Lego Lord of The Rings is a masterpiece and I won’t hear otherwise.

The Lego Indiana Jones video games are a series, and as a collective, I’m ranking them number one on the list. Each one has the same fun destructible worlds, hilarious writing and humour, and of course terrifying boulders to run away from. At the end of the day, they’re just a little goofy and isn’t that what Indiana Jones games should be all about?

I will quite literally nuke all boulders in the world to ensure there is no risk of me being untimely crushed by one so I can keep playing these games. Maybe that’s what Indiana should start doing anyway…

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