The Beekeeper: Jason Statham once again stars in some beeyond beelief nonsense

‘From the director of Suicide Squad’ is the first red flag

4 months ago

My cinema does mystery screenings every so often. It’s really exciting. You spend the build up trying to work out what it might be that you’re getting to see a preview of, and you don’t find out until you’re seated with your snacks and the film starts. With awards season looming, there’s so much good stuff coming out over the next few weeks. Maybe it would be The Holdovers – the acclaimed, retro Christmas film we’re inexplicably getting a late release of next week in the UK! Maybe it would be All of Us Are Strangers, or Origin, or even Mean Girls. But when we got there and saw the runtime, there was sadly one film that was coming into picture. David Ayer’s new Jason Statham film (which is at this point its own genre) The Beekeeper. The title card flashed up, the screen groaned. To review The Beekeeper feels a bit besides the point, but we’ll give it a go anyway.

The Beekeeper is a Jason Statham film. And by that, I mean you know exactly what happens in The Beekeeper before you even start it. Shadowy organisations! A man with a jaded mysterious past! Villains that feel like they jumped out of a Grand Theft Auto cutscene! All of life is here, only this time… Bees! Yes, Jason Statham has left his shadowy life behind to be a beekeeper in the barn of a sweet older lady – but when crime rears its ugly head he wreaks a path of bloody vigilante vengeance that goes all the way to the top of the hive! In the first five minutes, Statham genuinely and earnestly says “Thanks for taking care of me… And my bees.” One of many unintentional laugh out loud moments.

He keeps bees, you guys! Bees!

You know a film is in danger when it has no clue who the interesting characters of its story are. At one point around the middle, an icon barges into shot – crashing her car into Statham (his character is named, but might as well be called Jason Statham – will save you the hassle of learning a new name) and steps out of it, all high heeled boot and minigun carnage. She’s fascinating and full of life – so of course David Ayer kills her off in about three minutes. And that’s that.

David Ayer’s filmmaking here is as horrible as his much maligned Suicide Squad, but in the interest of fairness I will say there are some very well shot action sequences with gnarly and brutal violence that you can feel the crunch of. Fresh off her turn in Doctor Who, I was happy to see Jemma Redgrave give it some gusto in a role I won’t spoil – and there was some genuine buddy cop chemistry between FBI agents Parker and Wiley who made their tailing of Statham more entertaining than it maybe should have been.

At the end of the day, it’s a Jason Statham film. It does what it says on the tin. Did you watch The Meg 2 last year? Well this honestly might as well be the same film again but instead of sharks we have a loose theming of bees. It will be watched on many a hungover Sunday of 2024 and people will scroll their phones or fall asleep before it’s over. Undemanding, unserious fodder.

The Beekeeper is in cinemas now. For more like this review of The Beekeeper, and for all the best film, music, reality TV and entertainment news, like Pop Culture Shrine on Facebook.