The 5 types of Durham student during exams

It’s exam season at Durham University, which can mean one of two things: Hours in the Billy B, a lot of tears, and countless emails sent to professors – or, for the chiller students among us – business as usual but more rejections when inviting people to the club.

If the absolute state of Durham clubs last night was anything to go off, the majority of students seem to be locked in, but we’ve still taken it upon ourselves to outline the five types of Durham student you’re likely encounter during exam and summative season…

1. The nonchalant but lucky one

This person is never seen in the Billy B. They’ve been there like five times during their entire degree and probably don’t know how to use the printers or check books out. However, this person somehow still manages to get firsts or high 2:1s in every exam – and they probably do a bit of work at home that they never mention…

When it comes to the exam, they know when it is and what module it’s for but have definitely never read the rubric. And they’ve read what they “absolutely need to read” but fairly thoroughly. They’ve probably been clubbing multiple times during the week of exam, but they drew the line at drinking the night before the exam (very classy, very responsible). Some call them lazy, others call them pragmatic. Either way, they’re probably outranking some of the other types on here, so I guess a win is a win?

2. The risky one

This person’s approach to exam season is genuinely horrifying. They stayed to close at Babs before their 24 hour exam but still hit an afters, arrived home c. four hours before the Blackboard portal opened with no sleep and while probably still drunk, and obviously didn’t do a single minute of revision. Oh, and their last seen location on Snap Maps was definitely Urban Oven.

The morning of their exam looks like the Last Friday Night music video and they’ve made the regrettable decision to get ChatGPT to sit the exam for them because they don’t even know what the questions mean. Yikes. Equally, if they do decide to do it themselves (which is more respectable, to their credit), the entire exam is a blur of extreme caffeine dependence, “fascinating” typos, and the Coconut Mall audio on repeat.

Get excited for resits!

3. The work-life imbalance

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This person is an unfortunate combination of the extra one and the risky one. They go to the Billy B all of the time but just scroll through reels while there, and cancel all other plans to “study” despite never actually reading anything. They can probably recite the rubric by heart and have looked through every past paper on SharePoint, but unfortunately that’s the only rote learning they’ve managed to do.

This person is a very conscious student and they usually do fairly well, but by this point in the year their motivation is at an all time low and they just can’t hack the last leg. Because they locked in for a bit in Michaelmas and Epiphany, they’ll probably be okay in the end, but their nervousness for exams and complete lack of motivation make for a pretty gruelling combination. If this isn’t you, consider doing something nice for this person, because they’re going THROUGH it. If it is, you’ve got this and you’re going to be okay! Taking time for yourself is super important – even when you’ve got exams.

4. The extra one

The clue’s in the name. This person has been studying for their SINGULAR 24 hour, 1,000 word exam every day for about a month now. They can be seen with a caffeinated Billy B cafe beverage on the silent floor of the library at pretty much any given time. They’ve read every piece of required AND suggested reading (can’t pretend I’m not envious of your commitment) – and, at this point, probably know more than their lecturer about the module.

Somehow, they’re still convinced they’re going to fail – and they’re probably telling people they’ve “barely revised.” Have to respect the grind with this one, but I’m not sure it’s unfair to say that this approach is a little too intense…

5. The practical one

This person has also been locked in at the Billy B, but THIS time the work they’ve been doing is equivalent to the demands of their exams. Wild. They’re taking it fairly seriously, but have been making time for their friendships and have probably been out once or twice. I’m envisioning a Blue Eye and a slow walk through Jimmy’s, but probably not an Angels. They genuinely care about their grade average and have somehow managed to find the motivation to lock in when it counts. And I think that deserves a round of applause tbh.

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