Take a look inside the Queer Eye Fab Five’s houses: Are they equally as fab?

Brb just reminding myself that Tan France’s wallpaper can’t hurt me


Queer Eye’s Fab Five are called the Fab Five for a reason. I’d trust my life to Antoni, Karamo, Bobby, Tan and Jonathan, knowing they always pull off the most amazing transformations. With some of the best eyes for fashion, glam and design, you’d expect that when it comes to themselves and their own homes, they’d be serving absolute looks. And they do (most of the time).

Everyone knows that Queer Eye’s Bobby ALWAYS comes through with the house transformations, often resulting in tears of joy. However, not all of the Fab Five have equally as fab houses, and after seeing the first one, your tears might not be happy ones (I apologise in advance Tan).

Tan France

From the moment Tan opens his door, I can’t help but notice the striped wallpaper which looks as if it’s been there for a bit longer (give or take 70 years) than he has. Sorry Tan but what was going through your mind when you chose that wallpaper? Six year old me could’ve designed something better on Sims. In his Architectural Digest interview (see below), Tan tells us his husband said: “There’s no way we’re buying that house, it’s hideous”. Interesting. 

Tan’s closet. Where do we begin? What should probs be the most important room of the house (since Tan does the fashion makeovers on Queer Eye), is actually just…not it. It’s so dark I can smell the Hollister spray just looking at it. He tells us it’s a “common misconception that because I have very easy access to an interior designer, Bobby, that I would’ve asked Bobby for advice”. Tan hun, maybe you should’ve. 

Watching Tan gush about his husband is goals though, and the rest of the house isn’t AS bad, but you can judge for yourself:

Antoni Porowski

Obvs the most important room in Antoni’s house is the kitchen because after all, he’s got to practice all of his cooking creations for Queer Eye somewhere (I wonder if his avocado and grapefruit “salad” or hot dogs with crisps on were created in this very kitchen?). The light wood cabinets alongside the white marble worktops, splashback and island look nearly as fine as Antoni, and don’t even get me started on the expensive-looking set of copper pans. My IKEA kitchen pots could never. I bet his William Sonoma tea towel also cost more than me. 

Via Instagram @antoni

There’s something very classic about all-white bedding and although it looks a bit like a student’s attempt at making a bed, I’ll forgive Antoni since his dog (who perfectly matches his house) is the only real important thing in this photo. The huge painting of some pretty scary-looking lions is v grand and puts any uni wall-hanging to shame. 

Watch the vid below to see more of Antoni’s beaut kitchen (or just Antoni):

 

Karamo Brown

Via Instagram @karamo

We all need a Karamo in our lives. If he’s not giving wholesome advice, he’s spreading good vibes and generally making us feel better about being the messes we are. Karamo looks like he’s having the best time in this photo, and why wouldn’t he be? He’s surrounded by a beaut backyard (if you can call it that) complete with a pool which puts our paddling pools we bought over lockdown to shame.

Karamo made a recent cameo on Selling Sunset because he’s looking for a new house, so maybe this house will be up for grabs? New potential student pad?? I wish. 

Via Instagram @karamo

Everyone loves seeing the Fab Five’s pets, and Karamo’s dogs Logan and Lizzie are so cute. What I’d give to be those dogs. Aside from the pooches though, that fireplace is SEXY. So modern, so sleek, so stylish, I’d die for his fireplace. Can we also talk about the huge plant? Forget our dying cacti that haven’t been watered since Freshers, Karamo clearly has his life more together than we do. Sigh.

Jonathan Van Ness

Via Instagram @jvn

Jonathan seems to be travelling all the time, so it’s hard to tell which is his permanent home. However, he recently posted videos on his Instagram at where he calls “home” and it certainly looks amaze. Although I love the ultra-modern, minimalist homes of Bobby and Karamo, Jonathan adds cosy touches to his home with a huuuge rug in the entrance hall and lots of fluffy throws on his sofa. I can imagine having a super snug movie night in his homely living room. 

Jonathan’s cute little smile and iconic dance moves make these videos tbh. The grey colours in his living room and the crisp white in his kitchen are sophisticated and fresh, and coordinate with his cat Larry, so what’s not to like. These videos make me jealous of his dog too because I just know it has a better hair/skincare routine than I do.

Bobby Berk

Ah Bobby, I knew I could have full faith in you providing us with gorge home goals. Bobby’s home is centred around a beaut blue pool that, let’s be honest, us in the UK are very jealous of. Just from looking at the house plants dotted around and the huge windows looking out onto the pool and nature outside, I get such scandi vibes. My head has certainly stopped spinning from the wallpaper in Tan’s house. 

Even Bobby’s library is just as light and airy as the rest of the house, and his books which are meticulously colour-coordinated are putting my chaotic uni book pile to shame. And don’t even get me started on his little music corner complete with a record player. Just imagine being as pure and put-together as Bobby, one can only dream. 

To get more chill vibes (or to recover from Tan’s wallpaper) see Bobby’s beaut house here:

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