Jess and Dom from Love Island are getting married
And I can’t even get a text back
Marriage is a life-time union of two people. A legal binding ceremony. A holy matrimony, in which two individuals establish a partnership of love and commitment for the rest of their lives.
Or if you're Jess and Dom, it's probably just another way to try and stay relevant in the fast paced world of showbiz.
Dom and Jess from Love Island have announced that they're engaged today, only after having met one another three months ago, and I'm sorry but I'm not buying it. And it seems that neither is anyone else:
Let's break this down. They met on Love Island, a show where single people try to get into a loving relationship, all to win £50,000. Sounds like there is absolutely no incentive for anyone to get together with someone and fake it, right?
Anyway, but then Jess got voted off and supposedly hooked up with Muggy Mike, even though she will deny this to her grave.
It was painful to watch, but Dom was still utterly in love with her despite these rumours. This was exemplified in the 11 miserable days he spent without her on the show, before finally being kicked off (thank God for that) and reunited with his one true love.
Then amongst the protein shakes and teeth whitening ads, we saw a barrage of sickeningly cringe Insta posts of them together. And more recently, they announced they were moving in in this horrific set of his and hers sweatshirts.
Four days later, they're engaged and Jess told OK Magazine that: "Getting engaged is just a promise to be someone's best friend forever."
Sure, she mentions children and her excitement to settle down, but I'm also convinced that she secretly hates him and just friend zoned him in the weirdest way possible.